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Having trouble penetrating

I'm a dude

Not sure what better way I can word this but I'm often having trouble penetrating. Sometimes I can get it after trying a bit but a lot of the time I just can't seem to get it in and have to give up. It's not an ED-related problem, I have no problem getting and staying hard.

I'm fairly new to sex so I'm not sure if this is something I'm doing wrong (I assume it is?) or if it's something on the girl's end. Some girls have told me that they think it's cause they're too small/tight but I'm assuming that's just an excuse? Is that a real thing? Is my penis curving the wrong way? This feels more difficult than it should.

Not really sure what to do. It's not exactly something I can freely practice. Any ideas? Also FYI this is an experience across multiple partners, not just one.

Lastly I have one more question: I sometimes to struggle to get condoms on correctly for some reason. Sometimes it will fit on perfectly with ease and other times it will be a huge struggle with the condom seeming like it's way too small, even if it's the exact same kind of condom I've put on previously with no issue. I must doing something wrong here?
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Avatar universal
Make sure your and you partner do a lot of foreplay first. Women need to be fully aroused and wet before you have sex. If that’s not enough, use some lube.
Helpful - 0
207091 tn?1337709493
So I'm not a guy, and I don't know how accurate this would be - but they make toys that "replicate" vaginas. You could maybe practice on those.

But that said, even men with loads of experience fumble around trying to enter a woman. It's not like porn where it just always works smoothly and no one misses or rolls the condom down the wrong way.

Make sure she's plenty lubricated - foreplay helps, and sometimes extra lube is needed, even if she's really turned on. Lots of things factor into this - alcohol tends to inhibit lubrication, some medications do too, including birth control, where she is in her cycle, etc. It doesn't mean she isn't aroused by you.

Ask her for help, too. She knows where it is, and that can help in the dark. Or turn the lights on.

Practice with condoms at home. Figure out what brands and size you like. And even when you do that, you'll still fumble sometimes in the heat of the moment. It's all normal, and happens to everyone. :)
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
I like your answer, auntiejessi. You’re right - sometimes things just don’t ‘line up’ exactly as you think they will (especially w/ someone new), so I think it’s a very simple matter to just say ‘Hey, honey, help guide me in’ - I know sometimes these intimate moments can be a bit awkward - again, especially in a new relationship - but I think that would break the ice & allow both of you to relax & enjoy things. Sometimes I think we all take this stuff too seriously - and I include myself in that! So thx for that good advice from a female perspective!
Thanks :)

If it helps, women sort of expect the fumbling. We know it isn't porn, and don't want it to be. We've experienced it before, and know it doesn't mean you aren't a good lover. It's just one very brief moment out of the whole experience. It's not something we think about at all. :)

Bonzo and I usually agree on these things, and once again, I agree with him - it's a very simple matter of saying, "Hey, honey, can you help?" We don't mind.

And we do take it too seriously. Sex is supposed to be fun. :)
20620809 tn?1504362969
Is this more than one girl you're having the issue with?  In general, women stretch to accommodate.  Make sure to use lube as that might help and try to relax (as should she).  Takes time but you'll get the hang of all of this.
Helpful - 0

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