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Husband obsessed with Milf porn

Here's a problem, my husband is also addicted to porn. So much so that we rarely have sex. In the past year only 10 times or so and he jacks off at least twice a day. I have of course tried to discuss it with him, tried to explain how it makes me feel to know that he is more interested in his hand and a computer screen than in me. He simply says all guys do it, and there is nothing wrong with it blah blah blah. And overall I would agree, if he only looked at porn when I wasn't home or available fine, great i don't care. But to constantly choose porn over me come on there must be something wrong. And before any of you men say its a matter of attractiveness, don't I take very good care of myself, and keep in good shape etc. and I have only once in our entire relationship turned him down for sex, because I was feeling sick. ONE TIME!! If it was my choice we would be having sex at least 5 times a week. And here's the worst part, I decided to check out what exactly it is that he looks at (hopeful that I might be able to imitate it and make him choose me instead) and its all MILF porn. He likes to look at women more than twice my age and blonde, with huge *****.....exclusively. So I have tried talking to him a couple times offered to dress up in costumes, offered to bleach my hair blonde (I'm a brunette) offered to fulfill any fantasy he has if he will just share it. And here's what he told me, he doesn't want me to be like that. Essentially, he wants me, his wife, to be pure and sweet, and brunette, (which I am) and no dirty stuff. Basically he want one woman as his wife and the mother of his children, and he wants an old blonde woman who dresses up in costumes and takes it in the *** as his sexual fantasy. So where does this leave me? Yes he loves me but I am not attractive to him sexually. And he doesn't want me to be, in fact he won't let me try to become his fantasy. He wants his love and his sex life separate. And since he won't cheat (thankfully), he masturbates constantly and we never have sex.....what can I do?
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Avatar universal
I too is obsessed with milf porn my wife hates it and fights with me all the time but in reality it's improving our sex life cause I'm always horny we have sex every 2nd day if she refuses which she does i jerk off
Helpful - 0
1990060 tn?1326819642
omg I feel so sorry for you. It hurts like crazy, I know.

Why the hell are they (our perfect husbands) marrying us then????  

(I'm in almost the same situation, my hub is obsessed with squirt porn. He hides it from me too)
Well, like I said why the hell don't they marry 'milfs' or 'squirting-chicks' for example. Save us lots of pain
I just don't get it. If Im not happy with the sex i have with my boyfriend - Im not gonna marry him daaaa??!!  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Please watch "Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson.  Watch the "6 part series".  It's on the web.  EVERYONE who thinks porn is not "addictive", is not "harmful", should read this.  It's a real "eye opener" that YES!!, YES INDEED!!  Porn addiction IS harmful!!  PLEASE, let's educate ourselves.
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Avatar universal
I think your husband had a problem in you.. I mean he never had a desire over you to go on sex. :(

__________________
Men's Health Institute
Helpful - 0
1828226 tn?1323565248
As far as your husband, if he think he doesn't have a problem or addiction then he shouldn't have no problem going 60 days without watching porn. Initiate the challenge. If he accepts the challenge, as time goes on his desire to have sex with you should start to increase.
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1828226 tn?1323565248
If porn is not causing problems in your relationship now, believe me it will cause problems in the future. Your man just didn't get to that point yet. It's like smoking cigarettes over the years. As years goes on, more cigarettes is needed to feel that high.
Helpful - 0
1809109 tn?1331803777
Yes a large population of men do look at porn. My husband is one of the probable millions of men who looks at porn. BUT, this has never caused a problem in our relationship or sex life. I feel completely comfortable with it knowing he will never choose porn over me. Yes many men do look at porn, but for a lot of them, like my husband, they don't have an addiction. However, many men DO have an addiction to porn and if this is interfering with your relationship to the extent it seems to be- something needs to change.

Honestly I think counseling might be a good idea. Personally if I was in your position I would feel that something needs to change, or I'm leaving. And that might be what it takes for him to see that it IS a problem. I would suggest you to look into marriage counseling. I think it might help you open up this conversation in a way that might be easier for him to talk about it. As it is, neither of you seem satisfied and he obviously doesn't want to accept that he seems to have an addiction to porn.
Helpful - 0
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