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I can't masturbate. Either I feel too weird or yucks. Idk what's wrong

I'm a 20 year old female and tried to several times but just can't.
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Avatar universal
Sorry to hear of your issue. Can you tell us a little more about what’s going in? For example, were you ever able to masturbate in the past? If so, were you able to orgasm? Did your parents raise you in a sex-positive manner? Some parents scold young children for touching themselves, which is a natural curiosity, and instill a feeling of shame, guilt & embarrassment about masturbation.

Another question- do you feel any pleasurable sensations from touching yourself? Or maybe you start to & then the guilt & shame makes you feel ‘dirty’ & then that just ruins any possible good physical feelings.

You should know that there’s nothing wrong with masturbation - it was once thought to be something harmful or perverted, but modern medicine, psychiatrists, etc. now understand that it’s extrenely common, not bad or harmful in any way (unless it becomes excessive). Virtually 100% of males do it & prbly 80% or more of females admit to doing it, altho even that may be a low # because some are just not comfortable admitting it.

I don’t know what your religious views are, but contrary to what you may have been told, even the Bible does not mention it or condemn it. Since we were told about numerous other sexual activities that are forbidden, it seems odd God would not bother to mention the one that’s prbly the most common of all! I think if He thought this was sinful He would tell us so & I don’t think He just ‘forgot’ to mention it! Obviously there can be cases where it’s NOT smthg ‘pure’ - I would guess that if you’re married & fantasizing about sex with someone else, most certainly that would not be acceptable. Jesus warned about lust, and that CAN be associated with masturbation, but doesn’t have to be. Thus, the sin would be lust, not masturbation. Maybe these thoughts will help you if guilt is the prblm - ??.

Anyway, think about these things & give us a little more background so that we can help you overcome this.
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1 Comments
Hi...   So, I've tried masturbating before too when I was younger but i can't seem to like touch myself like I said I gross out.
No I've never been able to orgasm via masturbation either but I have during sex but it has been only when I was a bit high.
I'm not married so I have no guilt bout anything of that sort.
As for my parents idk they've never spoken to me related any topic regarding sex or anything of that sort.  I don't feel anything as such when I'm touching myself either, like how it's said relaxing and pleasuring idk i don't feel it. But yea i do feel it when my partner does it.
Avatar universal
OK, so it sounds like you’re not really struggling much with guilt or shame, is that right? Is it possible you were told or heard that ‘good girls don’t do that’?That could be the reason you feel it’s gross. What about your friends, especially other young ladies in your age group - what is their general opinion or attitude about it? Do any of them discuss it, either saying it’s cool & they like it, or maybe saying it’s gross & they’d never do that? A lot of girls may have trouble being completely honest about it, don’t want to admit they’re doing it & by saying it’s gross, etc., they feel they can remove any suspicion about whether they do it or not. Obviously female masturbation still has a way to go to kind of ‘catch up’ to where guys are. It’s been accepted for decades now that pretty much all guys do it, altho there are also some guys who are a little more reluctant to admit it. But most will admit it if they’re asked anonymously, tho maybe they wdn’t in a face-to-face question.

The good news is that you said you have been able to get pleasure from a partner touching you, so that tells us that there’s nothing physically wrong & that you can respond normally. I should add that as much as many experts accept this as normal, it’s also OK if you DON’T want to. One of the reasons women have been encouraged to learn how to self-pleasure is that by learning what they like, they can better describe to their partner how to please them. Generally the guys already know what they like - they’ve already been ‘practicing ‘ for years - LOL !!

So maybe it will just take some time for you to feel comfortable with the idea of doing it, and that’s OK. I’ve also read where some women didn’t really get comfortable with it until they were a little older - late 20s, early 30s or later. As I said, at least you know you ARE capable of experiencing sexual pleasure.

I hope maybe some female readers might check in with their own experiences with this issue - any ladies out there willing to share something that might help? You’d be doing WF321 & others a great service...

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2 Comments
Thanks So much... your advice has been really helpful. Thanks for your input too about this.
I’m glad to know I was able to help. Still hoping some female readers will offer some advice from their perspective - I have a feeling they could offer some add’l help & advice...
Avatar universal
Try using rapeseed oil as lubricant and just get in the habit of playign with your bits, pinching your nipples and rubbing your clitoris with your fingers. Forget all the BS about mastubation being weird or yuck, everyone does it - especially the people who say they never do lol
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