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Avatar universal

I hate Sex.

I am 22F and i like boys. I never had sex and i really hate sex. To the extent that if  anyone around me that have sex made any physical contact with me i will immediately feel sick, feel all dirty that i have to wash up for a long time and even throw up.

I have tried to read books and even tried to look up on the internet for my situation( that is how i found this site) but i still did not get any solution. Therapy is super expensive so that is out of my option also online therapy about this i am so uncomfortable. I have tried to talk to some of my friends in which they recommended me to watch a drama or movies that have sex scene so may be i can understand that sex is an act of trust and a beautiful thing...etc but that did not help though it did do some damage. That is my stomach turn every time i hear the word sex.

So what should i do not to feel this way?
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Avatar universal
Try to pursue a relationship with your partner without worrying about sex at first, tell them you want to take it slow and try to get to know them. There is all kinds of research to support the fact woman feel more comfortable with intimacy when they feel an emotional bond with their partners, and that woman self report feeling less satisfied or even regret having casual intimacy.
Helpful - 0
20620809 tn?1504362969
That's hard. I'm sure you'd like a relationship and sex is usually a part of that. Have you had a boyfriend ever? Some people do have a sexual aversion and there would be a spectrum to that. Asexuality is something that exists.  There are degrees to it. https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-asexual  The article I linked also has different types of attraction.  Take a look at it (copy and paste the link).  Do you feel any of the different types of attraction? Our society is so sexualized, it makes it hard. You can still have a meaningful relationship as you work on this.  I know it is hard to talk about but if you can make online therapy work (talk space, Better health, etc.), it would be so valuable for you. Now or in the near future.  
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
I never have a boyfriend due to various reasons. One was that i was not interested in a relationship and two i did not have the time to invest in a relationship. I have gone to dates but that end up with me not wanting more. I don't hate kiss or feel disgusted by it but more touchy feeling just gross me out. And i don't have different types of attraction but i am tend to like someone only for sometime the same as like having crush or something and just move on. I don't get attached to feelings if that makes any sense.
There are different aspects to being asexual - you could be aromantic, too.

There's also demisexuality, where you have to have a really deep connection with someone before you feel attraction.

Here are some different descriptions, briefly, that may help -

https://www.bedsider.org/features/1134-it-s-a-spectrum

https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-sexuality-spectrum

https://www.healthline.com/health/different-types-of-sexuality

None of this makes you abnormal - lots of people are just like you.

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