Aa
I have a low sex drive and its ruining my relationship with my boyfriend.
Iv been dating my boyfriend for two years and we are so much in love. But the biggest problem we are facing right now is that he is not sexually satisfied. The problem is that he really likes anal and i hate it. and that i never instigate sex(Because im never really horney). Its always him who comes on to me. Its kinda annoying sometimes especially when im on my period. we have sex about 4 times a week on average. Hes is 21 and im 20. I used to have kinda of a sex drive when we started dating but i just dont feel the need for sex as much. i dont get horny and sex hurts 50% of the time. I dont feel attractive and i feel scared that im not doing sex right. and ever since iv gotten the birth control implanon my periods last two weeks and come every two weeks and that affects me sexually big time.
It is really stuffing up my relationship. Emotionally hes happy, we have the best relationship ever, we tell each other our deepest darkest secrets and can be our true selves around each other. i just dont satisfy his sexual needs. He even admitted the other week that if this keeps up hes going to either dump me or cheat on me. I dont know what to do.
I dont feel horny and when we have sex i only enjoy it a little because i either dont feel anything or it hurts. I used to love being fingered but now even that feels uncomfortable. I can only get off by grinding on top of him and being licked out and sometimes there is him making me squirt by penetration. But most of the time i barley feel the penetration or it hurts. and i just dont like anal. It hurts it rips my butt and it feels so uncomfortable but im fine if he puts a finger in. But penis wise i just feel so uncomfortable and for some reason panicked. During sex i just lay there and not make a sound. I dont know what im meant to do, how to touch him, how i should move and i dont make noise because i dont want to seem like im faking it plus we live with his dad so i dont want his dad hearing us have sex. ill let out the odd moan but besides that i wont make noise unless im cumming.
To be honest we dont fore play much either. He doesnt make out with me and i feel there is no romance. He will touch me and grab me sexually and we will kiss a little. I am attracted to him both physically, sexually and emotionally, i just dont feel horny. We havent even been out on a real date in months we just sit at home and do nothing in our spare time when were not working. We've been living together pretty much from day one but dont live together since all the fights we had in the last few months. When he comes to me for sex i cant help say yes because i dont want to make him feel insecure like i dont want him, because i do want him i just dont feel horny. and i feel a little pressured and some times it makes me feel like all he wants is sex from me. I think im a little bored sexually too. I just want him to feel me and kiss me and hold me close during sex and go slow and stuff but he ever does it, even if i hint at it or physically make him do it. he will just stop. He tries his best to make sure i come every time during sex but sometimes i dont want to and i want it to be over and done with or i just want to make him come.
It is really stuffing up my relationship. Emotionally hes happy, we have the best relationship ever, we tell each other our deepest darkest secrets and can be our true selves around each other. i just dont satisfy his sexual needs. He even admitted the other week that if this keeps up hes going to either dump me or cheat on me. I dont know what to do.
I dont feel horny and when we have sex i only enjoy it a little because i either dont feel anything or it hurts. I used to love being fingered but now even that feels uncomfortable. I can only get off by grinding on top of him and being licked out and sometimes there is him making me squirt by penetration. But most of the time i barley feel the penetration or it hurts. and i just dont like anal. It hurts it rips my butt and it feels so uncomfortable but im fine if he puts a finger in. But penis wise i just feel so uncomfortable and for some reason panicked. During sex i just lay there and not make a sound. I dont know what im meant to do, how to touch him, how i should move and i dont make noise because i dont want to seem like im faking it plus we live with his dad so i dont want his dad hearing us have sex. ill let out the odd moan but besides that i wont make noise unless im cumming.
To be honest we dont fore play much either. He doesnt make out with me and i feel there is no romance. He will touch me and grab me sexually and we will kiss a little. I am attracted to him both physically, sexually and emotionally, i just dont feel horny. We havent even been out on a real date in months we just sit at home and do nothing in our spare time when were not working. We've been living together pretty much from day one but dont live together since all the fights we had in the last few months. When he comes to me for sex i cant help say yes because i dont want to make him feel insecure like i dont want him, because i do want him i just dont feel horny. and i feel a little pressured and some times it makes me feel like all he wants is sex from me. I think im a little bored sexually too. I just want him to feel me and kiss me and hold me close during sex and go slow and stuff but he ever does it, even if i hint at it or physically make him do it. he will just stop. He tries his best to make sure i come every time during sex but sometimes i dont want to and i want it to be over and done with or i just want to make him come.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Young couple needs sex to enjoy life fully.It is important aspect of life. Ideal situation is both are sexually arouse, do intercourse for optimum time and orgasm at the same time.You may not reach ideal situation all the time but one should try to reach ideal situation.
There are ways to arouse one sexually for man as well as for a woman. A woman can do female deer exercise and a man can do male deer exercise. Both can kegel exercise.Man can do SAT KRIYA to gather sexual energy. Google these words to know these details. One can learn kundalini yoga to control sexual activity.There are lots of website giving breathing exercises. you may visit my page and go through post on sex. pick up with which you resonate and discard others. As your boy friend is cooperative, you can acheve success. Just cudding your self can give satisfaction. There is on website on cuddletome.com or cuddlewithme website.She is a professiona cuddler. She has written a book on cuddling.(spell check not done)
There are ways to arouse one sexually for man as well as for a woman. A woman can do female deer exercise and a man can do male deer exercise. Both can kegel exercise.Man can do SAT KRIYA to gather sexual energy. Google these words to know these details. One can learn kundalini yoga to control sexual activity.There are lots of website giving breathing exercises. you may visit my page and go through post on sex. pick up with which you resonate and discard others. As your boy friend is cooperative, you can acheve success. Just cudding your self can give satisfaction. There is on website on cuddletome.com or cuddlewithme website.She is a professiona cuddler. She has written a book on cuddling.(spell check not done)
Your relationship is suffering, and I'm not sure that it is all due to sexual matters. From what you have said, you do not like anal sex, but your boyfriend continues to want this. Also, he is not getting into enough foreplay to get you aroused. His behavior in these two areas are cause for concern. You are not horny as you put it, but I feel that much of the cause is due to your boyfriend's lack of concern for your sexual needs and preferences. Is it possible that you could get some relationship counseling together to sort things out between you?
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
