Aa
A
A
A
Close
Sexual Health Community
13.6k Members
Avatar universal

My Bf masturbates instead of having sex with me

I am 25 years old and my boyfriend is 26. we have been together for a year and deeply in love. I do not doubt his love for me.
The problem is that He used to be very sexually active at the beginning of the relationship but recently like 5 months ago, we are rarely having sex. like once in a month or once every two months. i talked to him about this and that it is annoying me and its unhealthy for our relationship as i believe. he confessed that he has been masturbating almost 3 times a week since he has a high sex drive and we can not always have sex (we dont live together) and also due to other minor reasons as not to cheat on me. and he confessed that his act of masturbating is reducing his excitement towards having sex with me. I am really concerned and dont know what to do in order to solve this issue. it upsets me and is lowering my selfesteem and i am not being sexually satisfied! I have been researching the internet but with no clear answer on what to do. Shall i ask him to stop masturbating? and how can i help him on this? Please help!
2 Responses
1029273 tn?1472231494
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi,

You could ask him to stop, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he will.  Masturbation is fine and normal to engage in, but if it stops someone from being intimate with their partner, then it usually becomes a serious problem for the couple...
Since you've talked with him about your concerns, has he tried to become more accommodating regarding satisfying you, or not?  If he hasn't, that is a definite red flag that he has no intention of changing, or just isn't interested.
In my opinion, if he doesn't start to show any interest in your sex life, it would probably be a waste of your time to continue with this relationship.  I understand that you love him deeply, but you don't sound very happy with your boyfriend.  Healthy relationships thrive on mutual satisfaction and emotional support; if you're not getting that from this relationship, maybe it's time to re-evaluate why you stay with him?
Good Luck  
139792 tn?1498585650
COMMUNITY LEADER
Did you try to find out if he is watching porno?. Only masturbation does not give you enjoyment as intercourse. Probably he is doing it with porno watching. This is more serious than only masturbation. If he cooperates, you may visit sex expert. If he accepts the visit to professional , then you are sure that he means well. Otherwise he is cheating you..
Have an Answer?
Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498585650
Indore, India
Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
11369760 tn?1449504372
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Dim the lights and break out the…eggs? These 10 foods will kick your sex drive into high gear.
Here are 16 facts you need to know to protect yourself from contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease.
The surprising benefits of getting busy
Pain, cramps and spotting — when should you call the doctor?
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.