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My Boyfriend excessively masterbates and watches porn
Hi, I have been with my boytfriend for over a year now. We have a great relationship and use to have a great sex life. Since we have moved in together and he now has access to the internet his porn watching has increase significantly as well as his masterbation. I knew he masterbated (as most people do) before we moved it together and I am not made at that but the issue now is that I feel as if he is chosing masterbation over sex with me. I have maybe turned him down twice in our relationship. He rushes home from work so that he has time before I get home to watch porn online. He has even left me and our friends while entertaining at our house to go upstairs and watch porn and masterbate. Even if we have sex daily he still masterbates. I feel like there is no satisfying this man. Now is experience erectile disfunction and blames it on everything else. Finally he says that it may be from holding his penis too hard when he masterbates. He has problems with sleeping and concentrating. Its becoming a problem in our relationship and a huge turn off. Our relationship seems great in every other aspect. I wake up every morning and he tells me at least 10 times before we get out of bed how much he loves me.... What should I do?
Much of the above advice is on track, just want to add that it sounds like he may have kind of an addictive personality - you mention problems sleeping & concentrating. He may need psychological counseling and possibly even some form of medical treatment for addictive personality disorder. I think harsh, kind of 'threatening' confrontation may not be helpful - tell him you love him & care about him, but let him know in the nicest possible way (but firmly) that his behavior is extremely hurtful. Let him know that you don't have a problem w/ masturbation itself (you did indicate you knew he did before & didn't have a problem with it), but that this level of excessive masturbation & porn is killing the relationship & that there may be no future for the two of you if he isn't willing to change, maybe even get some medical and/or counseling help.
Looks like they have a homosexual side. If they prefer rubbing their penis by themselves while watching other men be pleased by women( Boy/girl I’m assuming) then that is being turned on by other guys. Especially it their partners are willing to please them but they prefer to masturbate. Sounds like they are selfish beyond reason.
A good description of dealing with someone who is compulsive or addicted, especially the part about confronting merely leading to new and better ways to hide it. If the person WANTS to stop and WANTS to change, he can find help and change. But if he doesn't really want to, he'll find ways not to.
I have a similar problem with my husband. I to have felt he would rather watch porn and take care of himself, but our sex life gets slim to none when he is doing more, and not because he can't have it when he wants. But my husband denies his problem and won't admit to it. He won't even talk about it to try to fix it. And it don't work these days to take a computer away, cause about everyone's phone has access to it mobile and can in their vehicle or bathroom if they want or anytime their alone. I use to find it left in history on computer sometimes if he didn't get it deleted, but he has just got smarter and found the ways to hide it a lot better. It's scarey cause they then generally move onto the sex dating sites where it's available for real 24/7 and never know if it went further then browse or chat like I have seen. And if I confront, it's just a new better way to hide it.
C'mon, thers nothing a girl can't do. And when it comes to us, men. You can work wonders, and if he loves you he'll try his best to keep away from porn, and yeah, while he's doing that don't force or ask him to have sex with you, let him come to you when he feels like it. And it would take some time and ofcorse 'you' by his side. And everything else will work itself out. Ps-tell him how much you love him, and he'll never let you down by perpose!
Ok you could take away the computer, put it on a child lock for porn channels, and the last its either me or the porn, his choice.
But keep your walking boots hady.
Good Luck
But keep your walking boots hady.
Good Luck
I'd just say, "Sweetheart, you love me but your addiction is making me second in your life after porn. I don't stay where I'm second in someone's life. Either get help for the addiction, or it's goodbye." Then follow up.
ps -- He's not going to give up the porn. Be ready.
ps -- He's not going to give up the porn. Be ready.
Sounds like he is addicted to porn. It can happen, and is a very real addiction. The erectile dysfuntion is a symptom of that. He may need some professional help to overcome this, or maybe an online support group if going to addictions therapy is too much for him to consider initially. Because it isn't normal to leave social situations to masterbate. That just isn't healthy behaviour.
convince him to stay away from porn and masturbation for a month so he can see that it is ruining his sex life with you. He is keeping himself mentally satisfied too much with himself.
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