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My Girlfriend is Circumcised.

Hello everyone.

    My girl-friend and I have been together for over a year and I found out that she had been circumcised when she was a little girl (her labia minoras are not there and where the clitoris should be is a flat area, kind of feels like the tip of the nose but flat).  After finding this out I talked to her and told her it would be a good idea to see a gynecologist just to be safe. She agreed and later on changed her mind and that trip to the doctor never took place. Several months later, we decided to have sex (she was a virgin and I'm not) and lets just say it was not fun for either of us...specially for her. I understand that the first time comes with considerate amount of "pain" for the female but I believe this was allot more. I love my GF and I want the best for her. I guess my question to all of you is, is the fact that she is circumcised the cause of all the pain? Would she ever be able to enjoy sex? Have kids? Is the pain ever going to go away? What are things we need to talk about and do? I can’t really bring it up to her because she gets emotional. I want us to have a healthy sex life but I doubt that’s going to happen considering everything I stated.


6 Responses
139792 tn?1498585650
COMMUNITY LEADER
Clitoris, G-band, A poit u point and vaginal walls are sensitive sexual parts of a female. Clitoris is the most sensitive part for female.
She will have somewhat less sexual pleaure. However, for pain, she has to go to gynecologist or research for it in the internet. You will be able to learn how to control her pain.
You can search for all the above four points in the internet .
1174003 tn?1308160819
I wouldn't search for this on the internet at all.  I would go to a professional.  Tell your girlfriend you are worried about her health and that you want to take care of her.  Part of taking care of her means you have to go to the doctor tohave this looked at.  

The first time DOES come with some pain.  How much pain is not an exact science as each female is their own person with different thresh levels for pain.  So its time to be seen by a doctor and have her vagina checked out and explain the symtoms.  

Avatar universal
Yes she will experience difficult and pain, because of this horrible female circumcision. The act of female circumcision is unatural, painful and traumatizing for young girls. Also the discomfort that comes with her first sexual experience. I feels it's very important to have a gyne check her out. Right now she is experiencing fears, because she has never been to a gyne (since she is a virgin), so I recommend to seek a female gyne, which will make her more comfortable and maybe she is just not ready, because she does not know what will be done to her or what they will find. You can't force her, what you can do is support her and tell her it's important to get a professional opinion, if she is more comfortable going with a female friends, mother or female adult will help someone, but she is the only person that can tell the gyne of what she has experience and it might be very difficult. She also has to be educated on safe sex and how to avoid pregnancy. This is a very difficult and delicate situation that has to be approached very carefully, because of her traumatizing experience and lack of sexual experience at the same time. Be gentle with her and reassure her you will there to support her whatever decision she makes. Lot's of love and patience will also help. Good luck and I recommend that you also educate yourself on female circumcision to be sensitive to her experience. Good Luck, Judy
Avatar universal
Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and we will be visiting a gyne soon so then we will have a better understanding on how bad the circumcision was. any links you recommend about female circumcision?
Avatar universal
You can just type "Female Circumcision" on the internet for information and it is one of the most horrifying experiences imposed on a young girl who had no say to what was done to her. It was usually done to avoid early sexual activity and pregnancy, so it was unatural, forced upon, traumatizing, horrifying and scarring internally to where she can either not be able to bear children (maybe only, only a gyne will be able to evaluate damaged done). It is done in 3rd wold countries and it's horrible.

What she needs is compassion, love, understanding, patience and reassurance that it's ok to talk about it, only if she choose to do so. I can't even begin to imagine what she has experience and my heart goes out to her. She is fortunate to have you for support, but with the right treatment and possibly counseling, she should be just fine.

She also has to learn how to become sexually active at her pace. It will defiantely happen with love and patience on your part. Good Luck, Judy
1174003 tn?1308160819
Judy is right I remember reading a long story on it and was shocked.  I had forgetten about it or I would have posted it too.  I couldn't believe they were doing this to kids.  
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139792 tn?1498585650
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