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My boyfriend takes too long to reach orgasm and I am in pain/sore

How can I get my boyfriend to *** in a position that is more comfortable/pleasurable for me?

My boyfriend can only *** in the missionary position. He has to thrust really hard and deep for a long time (30 min straight sometimes) to achieve orgasm.  In most cases, I find it uncomfortable or even painful because we have already been going at it for 20 minutes prior to his aggressive thrusting.  I really care about him, and I want to satisfy him, so I take it for as long as I can. But, it's getting difficult to look forward to sex anymore because it is becoming stressful. Sex has become too ***-focused.

Eventually, I have to ask him to stop because I'm in pain, but then he can't *** at all.  I have discussed this with him before, but things have only gotten worse. During sex,  he is so worried about he is hurting me that it takes him even longer to achieve orgasm (if he does at all), and I just end up really sore.

I just don't know what to do. I am worried that if I address it again, he will only become more insecure about his sexual performance. What should we do? How can I discuss this with him again?

He has had prostate issues before. Could this be related?
7 Responses
1696489 tn?1370825574
Hi.  I am a 43 yo married woman, working on 17 years of mostly happy marriage. :-)  Over that time, I have discovered that there is more than one way to 'skin a cat' in bed.  You could finish him off orally.  Or engage in mutual masturbation.  Also, you can have porn playing on your TV while having sex.  Not if you are a 'no porn' person, tho! :-)  Just relax with him and try different things like sex toys and oils.  Best to you both. - Blu
Avatar universal
Is he on any medication? Does he masterbate on a regular basis?
Avatar universal
Thanks so much for the advice, Blu.

Vance, I don't believe he is on any medication. Before we started dating, he did masturbate regularly.
Avatar universal
Sorry about that post. Something went wrong.
139792 tn?1498589250
COMMUNITY LEADER
You and your BF kegel each other by turn......... This will give extra plasure culminating in quicker orgasm for both.Google kegel esercise to learn the method... It is a good exercise as well as good treatment to stregthen pelvic floor. It will also help you to tighten your vaginal muscle.Read more sexual literature to add something new in your sexual activities. Ask him to withdraw his genitals and keep it in only one inch for some time. Here you will be able to contract your vaginal muscle( hot spot). If you are at the right spot, sexual intercourse will be pleasant one.
139792 tn?1498589250
COMMUNITY LEADER
(you may Google female orgasms to find more ingo)

Tantric sex sounds intimidating (or best left to Sean Diddy Combs, who has been known to tweet about his 10-hour sex marathons), but taking some tips from the ancient practice sets you up for electrifying full-body orgasms that you can feel from your fingertips down to your toes. And who wouldn't want that?

1. Think Big.
Stop focusing only on what you're feeling below the belt. "Imagine all that energy running up your spine, down your arms into your hands, and up into the top of your head," says Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. "Once you learn to open yourself up, you can let more sexual energy flow through you."

2. Breathe.
It's natural to hold your breath when you're on the brink of climax, but Carrellas says you'll feel a deeper pleasure if you fully inhale and exhale. "Practice while you masturbate," she says.

3. Scream and Shout.
Or grunt or sigh. Your partner will feel appreciated, but it's not just for his enjoyment. "In tantra, there are seven different energy centers (or chakras) in the body: perineum, lower belly, upper abdomen, heart, throat, forehead, and top of the head," says Carrellas. "Making higher-pitched sounds brings your sexual energy up to these higher centers, while making lower sounds brings it down."

4. Do Your Kegels.
Squeezing and releasing the pubococcygeus muscle (the same one you use to stop the flow of urine) in a slow, deep rhythm as intercourse gets more intense will help you orgasm longer and more powerfully.
139792 tn?1498589250
COMMUNITY LEADER
Fool body orgasm;
Do not concentrate only on your sexual part.  you may start from lower end to the upper end covering the front and back portion. visualize that sex energy is moving throughout your body. There are 7 chakras(energy centers) Imagine that the energy is moving through each chakra. In this way you can have full body orgasm.
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139792 tn?1498589250
Indore, India
Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
11369760 tn?1449507972
Southwest , MI
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