Aa
My man sexual drive is driving me crazy!!
so heres the thing. I love the man! he's all I can ask for...it is just that he keeps always this sexual thing on me, like if there no were feelings to share, i honestly feel very disconnected from him when he does it, or not share hes ideas or thoughts I know that when he is with me he is at full but how can I make him to talk to me other stuff that is not sexual? I feel like a rabbit sometimes... ;) HELP! or please listen to me a bittttttttttttt! hahaha i do need it! ;) Thank you!
Maybe I need to clarify my post about 'dressing down'. My husband knows that I love him no matter how I choose to dress. I will cuddle on the couch with him, give hugs and kisses, and all of the loving things a wife does... just not necessarily sex if I don't want it. I feel very strongly that BOTH of us need to be in the mood for sex. And we aren't always both in the mood at the same time. But the love remains, sex or not. :)
Women connect verbally and through empathy. Men connect physically and have a difficult if not near impossible time with empathy. men need to literally physically be there with the other person to really connect and understand.
My recommendation is to read the book Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs (not sure of spelling). This really explains the differences between men and women. And really explains the literal importance of sex to a man. It is Christian based book so be aware of this.
BTW: Dressing down would do nothing for me or most men I know. But I suppose that works for some. To husbands I know the most hurtful thing their wives do to them is deny them sex. The men feel totally unwanted as this is the way we connect with our wives. Without that we feel unloved. And as a result likely have a behavior that is very unloving. THem married men Iknow are all totally confused as to why sex is a chore and not something if not the most important thing. Sex is the single act that most clearly defines the relationship of marriage from any other behavior. Other behaviors can be shared with any other person. But sex is exclusive to the husband and wife. Being denied sex most men sit an ponder why they are married at all. The person they love doesn't want to be shown that love or be with them. that is the way most men feel.
Most women that open up are more apt to tell me that the men are only sexual pigs and that is all they want to just get their rocks off! In a truly loving relationship nothing could be further from the truth. They love you so much they can't wait to "BE" with you. And then go to bed an get told "not tonight", I have my period ( you know guys can count to 28 days too!) or whatever other "excuse" just to "get out of having sex".
And there lies the problem. For many women sex is something to "get out of" or escape or postpone or put off. It is not something that they even want to do. it is like doing the laundry or moping the floors. Just another chore to cross off the "to do" list.
My recommendation is to read the book Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs (not sure of spelling). This really explains the differences between men and women. And really explains the literal importance of sex to a man. It is Christian based book so be aware of this.
BTW: Dressing down would do nothing for me or most men I know. But I suppose that works for some. To husbands I know the most hurtful thing their wives do to them is deny them sex. The men feel totally unwanted as this is the way we connect with our wives. Without that we feel unloved. And as a result likely have a behavior that is very unloving. THem married men Iknow are all totally confused as to why sex is a chore and not something if not the most important thing. Sex is the single act that most clearly defines the relationship of marriage from any other behavior. Other behaviors can be shared with any other person. But sex is exclusive to the husband and wife. Being denied sex most men sit an ponder why they are married at all. The person they love doesn't want to be shown that love or be with them. that is the way most men feel.
Most women that open up are more apt to tell me that the men are only sexual pigs and that is all they want to just get their rocks off! In a truly loving relationship nothing could be further from the truth. They love you so much they can't wait to "BE" with you. And then go to bed an get told "not tonight", I have my period ( you know guys can count to 28 days too!) or whatever other "excuse" just to "get out of having sex".
And there lies the problem. For many women sex is something to "get out of" or escape or postpone or put off. It is not something that they even want to do. it is like doing the laundry or moping the floors. Just another chore to cross off the "to do" list.
My man used to do this too. I have a trick I use to lessen his interest some. First, I must explain that we are deeply in love, and enjoy a great sex life, and have been together 14 years. Neither of us are cheaters, as we do not have that sort of thing in our personalities. Now, this is going to sound funny, so feel free to giggle. I purposely 'dress down' when I feel like he's bugging me. No makeup, messy hair, baggy clothes, no jewelry. Sometimes I even use the period excuse, or that I feel a bit nauseus (sp?). This just tones him down to the point where I can deal with him on my own terms. Then, when I feel ready, I get pretty for him. :)
Tell him it creeps you out that he's so sex-obsessed and to save it for special occassions.. If you can't talk to him about these things without him listening and trying to help, then obviously there's disconnection there. Tell him you don't want a relationship that is built mostly on sex, and that you wish he would tone it down a little as it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable.
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