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17896521 tn?1461170236

No Interest In Sex

Hi, I'm a 38yr old man, heterosexual, fully functional.  My problem is that I have no interest in sex ... none at all.  I do not notice beautiful women like normal guys do and I don't chase "***" like other guys do.  In the past I have passed up on it for the mere reason that I didn't want to and other things sounded better.  I'm not a virgin but I didn't lose my virginity till I was about 28 but I was really doped up on weed, Vicodin and alcohol so I just did it.  I did and did not enjoy it.  The girl offered to be my F-Buddy because she liked it but I don't think I ever called her, she always called me so I did it in the hopes that something would "click."

I've read a few things about being asexual but is there a name for this ...  is it even a condition?  I need help, I just want to be a normal guy ... might be too late?
3 Responses
11369760 tn?1449504372
From your description, your physical side works, since you have had sex in the past, and this lack of sexual interest is due to your mental side.  This is not really a problem since it is how you react, or rather, don't react.  You are a normal guy if this is your normal, so carry on with your life.  However, if this is something that you want to pursue, try visiting with a professional counselor who may help you get more answers.      
17896521 tn?1461170236
I don't feel normal at all.  My family thinks its strange that I'm not married or have kids since all my siblings do.  I can't explain this to them ... I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I'm already seeing a counselor and we have discussed it, I think even he's dumbfounded by this.  It just kills me because I have passed up on some really great women in college and one that I went out with for about 8 months who was very sexual and was worried that I didn't try to have sex every night ... which she definitely would have ... I think she though I was gay.  She ended up dumping me.
1 Comments
It's good that you are having counseling.  I am surprised at his response to your situation if you think he is "dumbfounded".  Love your family, but whether you get married and have kids or not is your decision.  Many people do not get married for a variety of reasons.  Also, you can still have female friends since there are those similar to you that do not have sex as a priority.      
17896521 tn?1461170236
I would like to get married some day, at some point I did really want kids but with this mind set I don't think its going to happen.  Sometimes I get his on by women and do not realize it but when i'm told that is what was happening i'm like "oh well."  There was a woman in college that had a HUGE crush on me, all the signs were there ... we went camping and shared a tent at her request but I didn't think anything of it.  years later I was told that ... I've let so many great girls go by ... have a lot of regrets.
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