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Pain that that makes my life painful

My husband and I have been married for almost two years. We are very much in love, we enjoy each others company, and we have a solid commitment to our marriage. The problem has been our sex life. Both of us were virgins when we got married. Although my husband has been an extremely passionate lover, from the very first night of our honeymoon, sex has been an ordeal for us. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. Almost every time we attempt to make love, I get very nervous and it is painful for me. A few times in the last two years, we have had wonderful, spontaneous sex. I have switched birth-control pills and tried relaxing before sex, but it seems that arousal is difficult because I anticipate the pain. My friend told me that it was because of estrogen hormone and suggested me taking evista. i took that too (bought from http://www.genericwebpharmacy.com ) but to no avail.

every facet of our life is like heaven right here, but when it comes to sexual matter i feel like bury my head in sand.

I have no history of abuse (of any kind), and I very much want to have sex that will drive my husband wild! What can I do?
2 Responses
1527510 tn?1392301344
I would suggest seeing a doctor for a pelvic exam. That will determine if you suffer from things like Pelvic Inflammatory Disease or even a Retroverted Uterus - both of these can cause pain when having sex. Because you know it's most likely going to hurt (like you said), you tense up anticipating the pain - which only makes it more painful.

If it comes back that you have one of these you need to look into ways where sex is less uncomfortable for you. Try different positions, more foreplay, more lubrication - these can all make a difference.

It might be worth speaking to a professional, and trying techniques to stop yourself tensing up in anticipation of the pain. Tensing up like that and being fearful just makes everything down there much tighter, making intercourse harder and more painful. You just need to learn to 'let go' somehow. Our minds are very powerful things, and so you may need to re train yours to not think about pain before and during sex, but pleasure.
2114766 tn?1334496749
I wouldn't panic and start worrying about seeing a doctor and buying all kinds of products to help. I used to be like this with my long term boyfriend, I used to get incredibly nervous and he couldn't even get it in. It used to put a strain on our relationship because it was an awkward thing not being able to have sex.
The main thing I recommend is definitely lube! It's amazing to use and you can get hot or cold ones! Try relaxing and the best sex is spontaneous sex!  Make sure it's nice and cosy in the room.
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