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Avatar universal

Penis reduction surgery? options?

I am a 35 year old Caucasian male.  I have what I always thought I had an average penis size.  Evidential this is not the case.  Girls always told me I was huge etc. I just assumed that was what all the girls told guys in general.  I measured my penis from the point where the base meets my torso/waist area approximately 19 cm (7.5 inchs) below my belly button. From this point to the head it is just shy of 24 cm (9.4 inchs) not taking in to effect a slight curve to the left from the pant leg that is stays in most of the time.  The circumference or diameter is16.5cm  (6.6 inchs).  My wife (of nine years) does not want to have sexual intercourse with me anymore as it is painful to her. When we try vaginal sex even with ample lubrication you would think I was killing her and is basically traumatic. We have other types of sex often but not vaginal. Anal sex has always been out of the question from all the partners I have ever dated. This is more from a circumference fear then from length issues.  I can modify my physical position to control how much goes in which an ex wife taught me to do because I hit the cervix and she didn't like that.  When flacid it is much smaller looking and does not  hang out of the bottom of my shorts or bathing suit as I only wear knee length ones to prevent pop outs.  My wife wants me to look into a penal reduction surgery or other option.  She keeps bringing it up and my response has always been why don't you get a vagina circumference increase surgery.  Basically it is a great source of tension in our marriage   I have two young children with her together, she loves me and is fairly attractive, other then this sexual parts compatibility problem she is a pretty cool girl, so divorce is not really a option here.  She is 5' 6'' 125lbs, I am 5'11 and 190lbs.  Any suggestions as to ways to shrink it a bit would be great. I am circumcised.  I would like to improve this sexual incompatibility and keep the same wife.

I posted this in the urology section originally but I thought to post it here as well as I am not sure what type of issue or doctor can assist. (I fixed some spelling and punctuation this time as there does not appear to be a edit capability that I can find)

This is a serious question, so to that guy that advised "I rub bologna on it because the nitrates in it will chemically shrink my penis temporarily"  While amusing..... it is not helpful. I see this type of what to do question has been asked a few times over the years here and the community answers are always people making a jokes or the question is never legitimately answered.  

Thanks much

Brad
42 Responses
Avatar universal
Well, it's nice for once to have a question about reduction for a change; questions about enlargement seem to come along every couple of days!

I can't think of a logical reason it shouldn't be possible, in theory.  But I've never seen or read anything about it.  Probably only a doctor will be able to answer this question, unless someone on this forum has had it done or knows of someone who has.
1 Comments
Yeah I've been w a guy w a penis too big for me and it hurt so bad!!  I joked about a penis reduction surgery and he said it didn't exist.  But I really never wanted to have sex w him!  My current partner is better but I still used dilators because it was still hurting.  They were recommended to me since I've been raped.  I recommend your wife use dilators of increasing size until she can handle your girth and don't like shove it the whole way in.  You can get dilators to use at home of net or go to pelvic physical therapy.  This solution was I heard not just recommended for rape victims but also for people who have a partner that too big for them and after child birth.  Good luck
1322253 tn?1274546089
I saw that you were looking for advice on a reduction surgery, and I was wondering if you found anything.

I am having the same issues with my husband, and searching for information.  We have tried everything, even including swinging so that he could get to have a fulfilled sex life, and I could as well.  My husband is still not totally into the idea of surgery because he has worries that there would be adverse reactions, but honestly, if he ever wants to have sex with me other than oral, he needs to get it done.

Anything that you have found would help me greatly, and would be much appreciated.

Thank you!
1322253 tn?1274546089
I saw that you were looking for advice on a reduction surgery, and I was wondering if you found anything.

I am having the same issues with my husband, and searching for information.  We have tried everything, even including swinging so that he could get to have a fulfilled sex life, and I could as well.  My husband is still not totally into the idea of surgery because he has worries that there would be adverse reactions, but honestly, if he ever wants to have sex with me other than oral, he needs to get it done.

Anything that you have found would help me greatly, and would be much appreciated.

Thank you!
Avatar universal
I've got the same problem I'm romanian living in England for a while. Looking for advice on penis size reduction really afraid of reverse reactions like infertility.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Cheers
Avatar universal
Frankly, I cannot imagine such a surgery with anything but a disastrous outcome given the complexity of penis functioning.  Unless you can find a very credible surgeon with numerous success stories (that you can verify) don't risk it.
Avatar universal
Just tell him not to shove it in all the way to the hilt. Try doggy style, that should help.

But dang, I wouldent mind switching places with sweetbutbitter's guy and getting endless BJs for a month or two! ( Id reciprocate of course! )
Avatar universal
I'm having the same issue, my partner only gives me oral. I want to get a penis reduction surgery but I have a fear of scars and adverse side effects. I have done anal once with my partner, bit it is hard for me to adjust my penis.
1703425 tn?1307392593
I'M NOT SURE IF YOU ARE BRAGGING OR COMPLAINING. IF YOU LOWER YOUR TESTROSTRONE LEVEL YOUR ERECTION WILL BE SMALLER. SEE A UROLOGEST. IF YOU CAN WAIT LONG ENOUGH MOTHER NATURE WILL LOWER THE LEVEL FOR YOU.  
Avatar universal
You need to see a urologist for help with this issue i've never heard of penis reduction but a urologist might have some ideas on how to make sex with your wife much more comfortable. Womens vaginas are ment to fit penis's so maybe if you take it slow and easy with good lubrication it wont hurt her so much. It seems you've had sex quite often I mean u do have children together so just try it different ways and see what works for her the best. But I would definitely see a urologist for a long term solution.  
139792 tn?1498589250
COMMUNITY LEADER
Occasionally, a man with a big penis feels that he wants it reduced in size. This can be done, but there is quite a risk that the operation might go wrong.

Again, we advise you not to have this operation unless an NHS consultant urologist has said it is necessary.
Avatar universal
just wondering.. why don't you tie a knot or two on your penis before attempting an intercourse?
Avatar universal
This is no joke... I found my wife of more than 30 years crying in the bathroom from the pain after we had sex... it tore my heart out. You guys that think its a joke must not care much about your partners....that may be why you are probably alone... women really want a man that truly cares about them.
1 Comments
has her hormones been tested? she might be getting dry like I did until I fixed them.
139792 tn?1498589250
COMMUNITY LEADER
Vagina is elastic.In child birth mouth of vagina expands to the size of the head of a child and resumes its size after the delivery. So if you penitence gradually and changing the continent postures , you may solve your problem.
Avatar universal
I feel for you man.  I have modest length (7"), but unusual girth (7").  I've never been interested in settling down with one female, but in the pursuit of women, it's cost me plenty of sex.  Not all of them have a problem with my size, and some even like it, but too many have refused me when they found out how big I am or they tried being with me -only once- and often have bled mildly (pink spots on the sheets) and I use lubrication as a standard.  It doesn't help that I prefer short, petite women who often have smaller vaginas.  Anal sex has almost always been out of the question even with girls who like that :(.  I've scoured the internet and there's little solid information on the topic.  It seems rare to find people just to take it serious.  I'm less concerned with infertility being an adverse reaction to a procedure (doesn't seem that would occur), but worry about a resulting erectile dysfunction.  If anyone has come across a successful solution, please share, I'm tired of the burden.
2073572 tn?1334304607
i am also dealing with same problem with my wife.but my gf enjoys it no problem with her.
Avatar universal
Im australian, and my wife is Vietnamese. For us size has been a big issue since we got together. People say the vagina expands, but that said it was often painful for her.

The problem was reduced after having 2 children, but there are still times when its too much for her to take, and recently she has shied completely away from having vaginal sex -> though we still use fingers, and dildos for her -> so dont tell me she has a headache, its the size that is brutal to her.

Ive been considering taking steriods from a guy at the gym, as i heard that would shrink my penius down, but i dont know if this is a good idea or not! i found this thread in google, and was hoping to find some answers.
Avatar universal
So, I'm going to be blunt here. I don't know if you know this, but women lie. I've got a friend whose wife kept telling him how his sex drive was so horrible and inslaving to her, then she'd get on Facebook and tell her best friend how she needed to find a ****! She was cheating and lying to his face about it! (He has an average penis). I have a big penis. I don't know if the rest of you actually do, but I do. I have never had a woman reject it. Actually, every woman I have ever been with has been addicted to it. A couple have tried to tell me it's too big, I ignored them, told them to go away, and they came back begging. Remember, WOMEN LIE!  A lot of them lie just because it's fun for them to screw with you. Does it sound like I'm some insensitive jerk who "doesn't care about his partner". Then think about this, the woman who supposedly loves you so much is asking you to have part of your **** cut off: sweetbutbitter (did you all catch her screen name?!?), and your thinking about doing it! Then you'll find out that there were a host of other reasons she wasn't having sex with including, but not limited to, the guys she's cheating on you with. She'll have the last laugh and you'll have a mutilated penis. If any of you are for real, WAKE THE F*** UP! If divorce or just leaving is an option, do it. If it's not an option, cheat! If she's made your life misseable enough that you are contemplating cutting part of your **** off, she deserves it. If she's asking you to cut part of your **** off, she diserves it. Hell, in either case she more than deserves it!!!
2080507 tn?1332540205
  I've delt with my boyfriends large size but nothing like  these mentioned here.
Avatar universal
I'm black and have the same problem,even though I put half in,I'm hitting bottom. Please help. craig donahue-Macon Ga.
Avatar universal
I hate to say it, but testosterone levels have nothing to do with it.  I'm 66, with my second wife, and I have the SAME PROBLEM.  Some might think we should be bragging, but it's not fun to hurt the one you love.  It's only in the movies that it's so great!
139792 tn?1498589250
COMMUNITY LEADER
I wonder whether, changing posture can help to have good intercourse with a larger penis. I think doggy posture will be helpful.
Avatar universal
I would not suggest a surgery that could peranently disable your use of your penis. I also dont think cheating is the answer because that will cause more pain. There isnt alot you can do about the width but take your wife to a sex shop they do have things that can help with the length issue. Talk to a uroligist and have her ask for advice from her gyn. There are ways to improve your sex life without physically or emotionally damaging your wife. Please dont listen to these assholes telling you to cheat.at that point you might as well leave her.
Avatar universal
Jim, I can relate to this story and can assure you that this is a very serious issue.  My girlfriend and I dated three months and really liked each other but she broke up with me because sex really hurt her and I am only a little larger than avg at 8" even but she is smaller than normal and we failed miserably several times at sex.  I am very gentle and stop when I see a girl wince in pain and she was very upset and cried because I couldn't finish either so all that pain she went through was for nothing.
Avatar universal
dude you just an a$$ or you simply don't know what the F ur r talkn about.  If you really are big and not full of sh*t pay attention to the woman you are with.  Im not huge but above average and it has been a problem with more than one woman.  One of which, I really liked and that is what brought me to google this.  We really liked each other and tried about a dozen times the first night and failed miserably.  She definitely wanted me and sex and it was actually her sister that told her she should break up with me over my size.  She ignored her sister and we dated a couple more months but she avoided sex and when we tried again from the back with her butt as a buffer she asked me to focus on finishing because she really liked me and wanted me to.  However, while focusing on hurrying up I didn't know until after that she silently cried into the pillow.  The next time it came up she said she was on her period and we couldn't do anything.  Then she broke up with me shortly after.  So my thought on you is you are an inconsiderate pr*ck or lying about your size.
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139792 tn?1498589250
Indore, India
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