Avatar universal

Scared for the Future. Please Help Me

Hello, I'll start by saying I am a healthy 17 year old male with no health conditions.  A few days ago I was making love to my girlfriend for the first time and she wanted to have sex.  The entire time we were kissing and what not I had a full blown erection.  I mean like full blown.  Completely hard.  She tells me to put a condom on.  Since this would have been my first time, I was slightly nervous.  I noticed that I could not keep an erection after that, no matter how much my girl "helped" me.  I couldn't achieve an erection and thus I could not lose my virginity, even after I had one for about half an hour before I attempted to have sex with her.

I really need some help here.  I'm freaking out, and I hope that this occurred simply due to nervousness.  I was also high on marijuana, but that has never made me not able to get hard.  If anything, it facilitated it.  I really need someone to give me some advice here, as I have nowhere to turn.  Should I try to quit masturbating?  What can I do with my body or how can I train myself to relax in order to be able to sexually function?

Also the past few days I have noticed that I have lost all my sex drive.  I mean completely gone.  I used to get erections many times per day just by thinking sexual thoughts.  After this incident occurred I have been completely uninterested in anything sexual.  What the **** is happening to me?  Are these just persistent nervous feelings or just a psychological condition acquired from the nervousness and feelings of despair I had while attempting to have sex with my girlfriend?

I completely ruined my chance to lose my virginity and I think anyone who is reading this would feel for me and be able to offer some advice.  Thanks

I really hope this is not permanent.

2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
2150728 tn?1336531601
A lot going on with you,huh? I was once a teenager myself and I know the importance of a boy your age wanting to lose your virginity. It's almost a rite of passage for young adult males like you. I think I may be able to help you out here.

From what I read of your story, I think your problem is more psychological than it is physical. You say that you had no problem getting and maintaining an erection until your girlfriend introduced you to a condom. it may have been at that point that you became concerned. "What if the condom breaks and she gets pregnant..."  was probably one of the many subconscious cues your mind sent to your body and it scared you to death, the thought you may accidentally impregnate your girlfriend and saddle her with a responsibility that you and her were not ready to handle.

I don't think masturbating is the problem here. Sometimes it's good to masturbate since it gives you a little practice in what feels good and how to achieve orgasm at your own pace. I think once you get past the trauma of your first experience that things will get better for you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
First night nerves, and these seem to have carried over, and the problem its now locked in your brain and the more you think about it sorry to it will only get worst, I would say the best way out of this is to get your g/f back in the bed room and start all over again, but this time relax and just get in the swing of things, concentraite on her and not you, remember you are there for her.
But before you do this try playing with a condom getting it on and off, but be careful if you are rolling it, it will pull your short and curlie's out.
But just relax and try again, I'm sure it will go better next time.
Good Luck
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community

Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498585650
Indore, India
Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
Avatar universal
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.