Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Sex hurts after short periods of sexual inactivity

Hi,

I have been sexually active for almost 3 years now. In the beginning, it took me close to 2 months of regular sexual activity to come to a position where I could have painless and enjoyable sex. I was extremely tight and sex used to hurt immensely. However with time I was able to have enjoyable sex. Currently, my partner and I live in different cities, which means that I meet him for only a weekend every month. When we meet and we try to have sex it hurts very much. It is like it was in the very beginning and I feel like a virgin again. He tells me that I am too tight and asks me to relax. But I am unable to relax because I anticipate the pain and tense up. This is causing a lot of frustration for both of us and while we desire each other a lot we are unable to do much about it as it hurts very much. I have been doing some research and everywhere I read, vaginal tightness is seen as Vaginismus. However considering I was having totally painfree and very enjoyable sex previously and since problems have started only now that I am in a long distance, I dont think its Vaginismus.

What should I do to make sure that it doesnt hurt? I am sure if we are in the same city and sexual activity is fairly regular, these problems wont happen. But how do I prevent my vagina from tightening and how do I save myself from painful sex every month?

Please help!!



4 Responses
139792 tn?1498585650
COMMUNITY LEADER
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201109/the-rare-truth-about-tight-and-loose-women

Visit the above website, you may find the indepth knowledge of your problem. Foreplay, relaxation and no anxiety are the problems.
1667242 tn?1487950547
This may be secondary vaginismus to pain anticipation. Or then it is some other form of dyspareunia. At what precise stage during penetration does it start to hurt please?
Avatar universal
It hurts at the point of entry. It feels like I am being ripped open. Once its in its ok. But the friction at the entry point can be really painful.
15734889 tn?1442652397
You could try (virgin). Organic coconut oil.. We use it and it does help.. It's totally natural smells good and if you google it is probably the perfect oil for your skin even inside.. Just use a little on the tip at first and many be some on the shaft if it is quite long but not too much.
Hope that helps... Also try slowly. At first... There is no rush to this and no need for you to feel pain if you relax and take all the time you need.
Good luck!..
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community

Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498585650
Indore, India
Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
11369760 tn?1449504372
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Dim the lights and break out the…eggs? These 10 foods will kick your sex drive into high gear.
Here are 16 facts you need to know to protect yourself from contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease.
The surprising benefits of getting busy
Pain, cramps and spotting — when should you call the doctor?
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.