Sexual Health Community
13.5k Members
Avatar universal

Vaginal Elasticity?

Hi. I just dont know where to go to find out the information I am seeking. I hope this forum will help me. And I realize you may think I am nuts, and thats ok.

I have an issue, and I am not sure it is a logical nor rational one. I am sure it is based on some insecurity, but I need help none the less.

My wife and I of 15 years are doing very well. In fact, the best we have ever been. We are best friends and never been happier. We are communicating very well and I think we have never been closer. Well, long story short, we decided to take our sex life to another level. We have dived into the swinger lifestyle. We have started meeting other couples and swapping partners.

Anyhow, my issue is that I have a below average penis. It is about 4-5 inches in length. My wife has never had a problem with this. Her box compliments it quite nicely and we are really the perfect size for each other.

We had an encounter the other night and the gentleman was a good 7-8 inches. She really enjoyed it and I dont think that is what bothered me. I am secure in our relationship and I WANT her to enjoy herself. I know who she is going home with.  It just seems that more and more of the people we exchange pictures with are 7, 8, 9, and even 10 inches long. I feel like I am really in the minority.

Let me get to the question, if I can express this appropriately, I am concerned that continuing down this path, we will encounter several men with significantly larger penises than mine. And my fear is that over time her vagina will stretch/expand/loosen with intercourse. And that ultimately, my snug fit will become loose and no longer pleasurable for me. And I know this will cause problems as sex right now is so perfect between us.  So, is this a rational fear?  How big would a penis have to be to cause this sort of "damage"?  How many encounters would it take before some sort of noticable change would be felt? Would one encounter?  

She has been talking with this couple where the guy has a 9 inch penis and really wants to meet with them. Should I veto this knowing his penis is almost twice the size of mine?

Please, I am seriously in need of some expert opinion/help.

Thank you,
11 Responses
Avatar universal
the vagina does not stress from sex period.    thats a myth no matter how big he is or how vigorous the sex is.    but i also warn you, this wont last someone will get jealous.  anyways enjoy
332074 tn?1229560525
Yep I agree with the prior poster. It is not going to stretch. But I also agree that you are playing with fire.
293420 tn?1243142938
Do you two have children together? If so, were they delivered vaginally? Did your wife permanently stretch out then?

I had an 8lb10oz baby boy 19 months ago, and my husband says that he doesn't notice a difference between before the baby and after.  If I can push an almost 9 pounder out and it still feels the same, then your wife will not suffer damage from a 7,8, or 9 inch penis.

Not an "expert" opinion, but a good one I think :) As far as your swinger life style goes, do whatever works for the two of you. Some people have open marriages and they totally work for them. Good luck with it...

A note--I've been reading all of the comments that Captain_Rit has left for everyone, and then I just realized that he's 17 years old and giving advice on sex. All I can say is that I was much different at 17!
Avatar universal
It is not a myth that a womans vagina does not stretch from having a large penis poked into it, I am now 64 yrs old, just 9 sex partners in my life and no one night stands.

My penis is about 71/2 inches long and fat, I lived with a woman for 7 months that had previously meen married to a guy with a 9 inch penis that was fatter than mine, her vagina was stretched to the point where for some anal sex was the only answer, I got used to her and was able to have a normal relationship with her but it took two weeks before I could orgasm inside her vagina.

My wonderful and current wife of 20 years and I have a wonderful marriage, our sex relationship was wonderful for the first 15 years, we used various size dildos and vibrators just for fun I also used to put my fist into her vagina, she used to love it, now her vaginal muscles are stretched to the point where I cannot orgasm in her, she masturbates me to orgasm after I have given her oral sex to orgasm.

If your penis is small you will be in the same boat as I am, your wifes vagina will stretch because of being poked by larger penis's but I have a feeling you may both have some kind of STD by then and wont feel like having sex, if I were you I would give the game away and be happy with what you have, it may be to late for that though, I wonder how many married couples were happy before swinging only to wreck their marriage because someone else turned them on more that you do, regardless of what people say about guys with a small penis being able to satisfy a woman "Its how you use it that counts" a guy with a big penis that knows how to use it can please her more.
Avatar universal
To add to my last post, my current wife had 5 kids all vaginal births, her vagina was normal and I had no trouble reaching a climax inside her, it was only when we started messing around with dildos etc that she stretched.

My first wife had two children to me, both vaginal births, when she gave birth to our second daughter they had to stitch her vagina because of a tear, they stitcher her to tight and for a long time I used to use KY Jelly lubricant on my penis so I could get it in, after a few months she stretched and I was able to fit it in without lubricant, to me that is also proof that a womans vagina will stretch.

One only has to view porn to see what a large penis and sometimes two at a time will do to a womans vagina, to trouble there and a guy with a small penis would not be able to touch the sides.
Avatar universal
Not to pick on your age, but I think you are mistaken in your thoughts that it is a myth. Have you ever seen videos of girls that do fisting?  They are pretty loose down there soon as they take their pants off and anythng happens...  also, why would there be surgeries to "tighten" vaginas if they never need it?
Avatar universal
Thanks for your comments. I was very interested in what you had to say.  Yes, I have kids (both delivered vaginally). My wife was VERY tight before our first pregnancy and she hurt almost every time we had sex. After the first child, I thought I was going to never enjoy sex again as I seemed to almost "fall in".  But several months later, it shrank significantly and almost was a perfect fit, so guess it was a good thing - she never hurt again. After the second child, we went thru several months/years of dry spell and when we started having sex again, I dont think it was any bigger...

I appreciate your opinion, but we are VERY safe when we have sex outside our marriage and very selective on who we play with. I will take your comments into consideration, and it sounds as if my fears are actually rational after what you have experienced.

thank you.

Avatar universal
I think your playing with fire . Yes, physically she may shrink back. But if  she gets use to someone else's fat 9" and then you try to make her orgasm with what you got , they may be a problem . Swinging sounds exciting , but it seems to be the beginning of the end of alot of relationships . I guess you could get into more sex toys to make up the difference . Any way , Good Luck .  
Avatar universal
Stephen you dont have to put your penis into a female to get an STD, no matter how careful you think you are eg using a condom etc you can still pick up the nasties, one of the many STDs that can be passed on without penis/vagina contact is "molluscum contagiosum", I got this stinking thing from a woman I used to live with back in the early 1980s, it stayed with me for over 3 years and looked disgusting, I think you need to put your life back in order and re-invent the respect that you both need for each other so your marriage will continue to succeed, there is nothing clever about watching your wife get screwed by some other guy with a big penis, scott120 wished you good luck, I think you are going to need it.
Avatar universal
different strokes for different folks, but i dont really see "swinging", as a healthy pratice in any relationship be it dating or marriage... its ascernine to think a 7-9 inch penis will ruin your womans vagina... im 7 3/4" by 6.5 inches girth and have been with my woman over a year... her vagina is just as tight as it has allways been, even more over i can easily give her an orgasm with two fingers at that...  i think the problem lies in not the physical totaly but the danger your wife might start liking a larger penis and the different feeling it gives her, and she might somehow grow mental attached to one of her partners... if you guys have a healthy relationship/sexual relationship, how ever did you guys even begin to entertain the idea of swinging???
Avatar universal
Lord almighty people, he's looking for advice on his woman stretching. Not criticism on his sexual preferences such as swinging. To answer the question on his woman stretching...no, love...that's what's beautiful about the vaginal muscles...made to push out a baby and come back. You're fine. Best of luck to you and good for y'all!
Have an Answer?
Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498585650
Indore, India
Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
11369760 tn?1449504372
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Dim the lights and break out the…eggs? These 10 foods will kick your sex drive into high gear.
Here are 16 facts you need to know to protect yourself from contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease.
The surprising benefits of getting busy
Pain, cramps and spotting — when should you call the doctor?
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.