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Why can't I ejaculate recently?

Hi. I'm 29 and I very recently started being physically affectionate with someone for more or less the first time in my life. Since we first kissed and slept (literally; no sex involved) together, I've had sexual problems. I can't get a good erection (if any) when I've tried masturbating or get a very good one when we have sex. I haven't been able to ejaculate at all. My lifestyle hasn't otherwise changed. I don't think it's depression; I'm the happiest I've ever been. What else could it be?
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207091 tn?1337709493
Is this something that happened as soon as you met this person? Like, in the days or weeks prior, were you able to masturbate and get a satisfactory erection and orgasm?

If it was sudden like that, I'd have to wonder if it's psychological. Do you have a fear of something - sexual intimacy, with this person specifically or in general?

For sure, you have to rule out physical problems first. It could be a prostate issue, low testosterone, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and about a gazillion other things, so you definitely need to see your doctor first.

Let us know what happens.
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Good advice, auntiejessi - I agree, make sure it’s NOT a physical prblm first, then go from there.

I’ll just share my own experience - as a young guy with not a lot of sexual experience w/ women, I was often very nervous when with a new partner. Naturally, I wanted to ‘perform’ well so she wdn’t be disappointed & also as a source of my own pride. As we know, those kinds of thoughts are almost always counter-productive & interfere with the relaxation necessary for good sexual response. I found it was better to propose no actual intercourse the first couple times, just some nice ‘foreplay’ activities, then take it to the next level after becoming more comfortable with each other. Don’t try to rush into full sexual activity before you feel 100% comfortable.

I think it’s possible that some anxiety has carried over such that even by yourself, you’re having trouble relaxing & just enjoying the sensations without focusing too much on a ‘goal’. I think if you can relax a little & avoid ‘performance anxiety’, you may find things will start working OK again. Best of luck to you & let us know if you get resolution for this issue...
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