Why so right in my dreams and wrong everywhere else?

[Beanie0]

Hi!  I am clear on the fact that I am messed up in the head over sex.  I've been sexually abused, but in a mild form compared to others.  I've also had long term problems with food/weight and body image.  I don't know if at this point if it's worth mentioning that I have low self-esteem - I'm not sure if this would have any direct link to the sexual side of my life.
I find a strong disgust towards the main sexual parts of the body - 'vulgar', 'rude', these parts should be kept private - full stop.  Further to this I can't stand the non sexual parts of the human body - I hate my body.  I dislike the scars on my skin.  I dislike the bumps, lumps, creases which forever worsen as time goes on.
The only time that sex feels right and nice is if I'm dreaming it during the night.  I assume it's these dreams that lead me to crave normality in real life.  Does anybody believe I have a blind chance of this?

[Dalubaba]

Did you ever think o yoga and meditation?

[Beanie0]

You are right, I don't want to lose hope.  My mind, body and soul feels like it's all over the place...something has got to bring it together.  I know what I want, I've just got to find the knowledge to get there.  Thank You for your reply.  Beanie0 :-)

[Dalubaba]

Your belief is important. Mental, physical and spiritual efforts will lead to a direction where you will find what you want. Do not lose hope. Your dreams will come true.