I think your carrying to much weight into this, all because she has had the esspearance of ejectulation, and with a her ex being a man.
Time to lighten up and get on with your relationship, and dont try to force the issue of female ejectulation, this is something you will just need to let it happen, and when the time is right it will.
personally i think you're just jealous he made her squirt and not you... that doesn't mean she loved him more or anything ... if you both relax everything will be better :)
In what way do you want to make her squirt? Penetration or oral?