I'm writing this after the fact (it happened about a month ago), but I would just like to share my experience, because it was a difficult one, and see if anyone else has experienced anything similiar, or if i'm just crazy.
ok, so, i'm in college and about a month ago I lost my virginity (it was a guy a knew, and am good friends with), and I wanted to try it partly out of curiousity and because I always thought sex would be something I liked. But it was sooooo much different. It hurt like nothing i've experienced before and I thought there might be some blood, but I was so embarassed because the guy's sheets were soaked, and the shirt that he laid down before hand. I had to get up like 10 times during the night and the whole toilet bowl was filled with blood every time (sorry, not to get too graphic, but I just wanna tell it the way it was). The next morning I was still bleeding and really sore.
But the story get worse....so, the whole next day I just felt uncontrollably emotional and depressed. For some reason I felt violated and could hardly stand to look at my body in the mirror. I couldn't stop crying all day, and that night I honestly felt like I could have jumped off a bridge (idk why I felt this way, looking back it was so irrational). I wasn't upset because i'd lost my virgninity..I honestly don't know why the depression happened. Anyways, i'm completely fine now, but it's still hard for me to think back to this experience. Please someone tell me if the bleeding is normal, and if the emotional response makes me a complete psycho.