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Avatar universal

semen in husbands underwear

have an unusual question. I don't really suspect my husband of cheating on me, but a few weeks ago while I was doing laundry I noticed white stuff in my husband's underwear after he was at work and we hadn't had sex or anything. And he claims it is nothing. Now my suspicion is a little irked and I have been checking it after he has worked and I keep finding it a couple times a week. Most of the time there is nothing. I just need to know can this happen from not being turned on at all, just doing a daily routine? or is it only b/c something has turned him on or someone?

I have asked him about it twice now. Both times he wanted to see his underwear for me to prove that something was there. Could this be happening and he just doesn't realize it?


19 Responses
Avatar universal
When a mans have an erection in his underwear. that is fine... However, fluids will start to build if you have an erection for a good while. When the penis starts to go down, the pre-come starts to rise up to the tip of the penis which causes some to seap out and put a stain on the underwear.

So bottomline, your husband is getting an erection but we don't know what's causing it. It could be his imagination going, he could masturbating during the day (on the job), or left-over come from having real sex (but let's not assume this)...

So yes, something or someone is turning him on...
1310633 tn?1430224091
If he wants you to prove it to him, then prove it to him. Save some of his dirty underwear, and show him what you're seeing. There may be a very logical explanation as to what it is.

I'm going to disagree with Myron_Long. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is being turned on. Please don't automatically jump to that conclusion. It's only going to cause strife in your relationship if you start accusing him of cheating on you.

Does he have a history of cheating on you? Has he done something else to make you suspect that he's cheating on you, besides his dirty underwear? Please COMMUNICATE with your husband before you go and accuse him of cheating.

And yes... it could be happening without him knowing it.
Avatar universal
I said "SOMETHING or SOMEONE is turning him on"---- It could just be his imagination thru out the day or he really could be jerking off in the restroom. It happens...
Avatar universal
poor bloke probably needs sex, his fluids are leaking out, are you depriving him of sex, men cannot help this happening so I wouldnt worry.
1 Comments
my partner and i have sex 3 times a day ,he has a shower before he goes to work and somedays there is semen on his underwear when he gets home,id like to know why
Avatar universal
I had a similar situation but I talked to my husband about it we haven't had sex because of me being on a medical leave and I'm restricted due to doctors orders but I notice his penis gets hard looking at me so I know he has build up but it still seems strange cause this is my 1st time seeing It..I didnt point any fingers at him but I'm sure going to watch his pattern,so far he's been faithful as I know of but you just can't put nothing pass anyone at end of the day
1 Comments
You can`t give him oral sex either?
Avatar universal
Why are there so many comments assuming it's semen? This woman is no doctor, the guy could have a UTI for all we know. This sort of thing isn't uncommon, it's not a big deal, and the immediate assumption that something may be going on sexually tells me you have trust issues. When all your underwear comes out clean let us know.
1 Comments
This is a correct advice. we have to keep a proper balance while thinking of sensitive issues.
Avatar universal
If has been a while sence he has had sex, as little as two days, his prostate has been filling up with ejaculate.  In saying that, if he has a hard or large bowel movement, this is enough to push out ejaculate into the ureathea, and if he does nott urinate after the bowel  movement it will seep out into his underwear.  Seeping out just lifting something heavy, bending, coughin, etc.
Avatar universal
Could he be watching porn and masterbating and be afraid to tell u or embarrassed.. dont make a big deal id just investigate on the down low. Check his phone, fn browsing history. Has his schedule.or demeaner changed. Is he working odd hours or later nights.. many ways to tell whats going on bit may be nothing. If u two are close u will know if hes chesting even if u dont want to admit it to yourself. U even could watch car mileage..but u shoukd be able to tell by the look in his eye and if hw can look i in the eyes when u bring it up.
Avatar universal
My partner goes to his exs house a few times a week to see the kids. He has come home a few times with fresh marks. He swears he wouldn't cheat on me if he wanted to be with her he would of years ago ..... the marks happened once before ..... we have been in an off relationship then.
He has had a vasectomy. I have shown him the marks and asked straight up if anything was going on he says no and he doesn't know why there is marks. He is the one that told me that he weeps sometimes when he gets turned on yet now he doesn't know why he has marks. Is it just porn ??
Anyway before he ended up saying that sometimes he pulls over on the way home and masturbates. Thats fine. I just am not 100% sure he isn't fooling around with his ex while he is there. Last time there was more evidence to say he had been with someone else. This time its hard to tell. He says I never have to worry about him cheating he loves me to much to do that. Is he just wanking or getting excited or fooling around with his kis mum ??
Avatar universal
True find out for sure if it is semen, then find out why, true that some people after masterbating don't want to admit that is what they were doing due to embarrassment, if it is just porn and masterbating as long as it is adult porn it is probably a fase and will pass, if it still bothers you ask him to include you in it, phone sex or let him take a video of you to watch while he is alone in bathroom away from home
1 Comments
My partner clears his history after he has watched it. I have told him i look at it too so why can’t we watch it together but he still hasn’t. Im still feeling uneasy about where the marks ate coming from on the days he hasn’t used his internet.
Avatar universal
My partner after 7 months back together finaly admited to looking at porn at work and Im guess anywhere he can. I also think if he is horny he can probably wack one out in the bathroom when he visits the kids etc. He says he hasn't and wouldn't cheat and I actually belive him, so until I have proof of it being with another person I have to assume the arousal is coming from porn or thinking and talking. The difference is if its smeared on the front I would say hes been with someone. If its white smeared all over the pants he may have cheated but if its more like snail trail marks lower in the pants than Id say he hasn't been erect just aroused.
1 Comments
So he has never wanked in the toilet he said so there must be another answer problem is I don’t know what it is
Avatar universal
Semen comes out from either jacking off or having a hard on that went back to limp. Something is giving him a hard on. It could be a number of reasons .
1 Comments
Does a guy always get really hard with a wank or more of a semi ?
Avatar universal
My husband has dribble in his briefs after every trip. Sometimes more dribble than a few dots  I don’t really care.  I suspect masturbation (duh), but he does have a girl crush on a younger gal at work too, so who knows and who cares.   He can fantasize all he wants. I’ve learned that there’s nothing I can do about it, so I now have my own personal fantasies and TBH it’s quite exhilarating and freeing to imagine whoever I want. It definitely keeps our sex life alive because he certainly isn’t the eye candy he once was either!!  What’s good for the goose is amazing for the gander! Get your own fantasy  and rock his world. (And your own!!!)
1 Comments
I'm sorry for your loss (of trust).  I heard a urologist on a radio call-in show say that MOST men have urine that dribbles out after they pee.  It's because when a guys stops the flow, where is still some urine "trapped" in his penis.  When he puts it back in, it's not uncommon to dribble out (for multiple reasons: hanging down, pressure from briefs/clothing, etc.).
He discussed this because it appears to be a common worry from guys that "something is wrong" down there, but this is not a medical problem.
That's not to say your husband is not occasionally wanking in the bathroom (I think most guys do -- especially in the shower), but I think you should cut him a little slack since it could all be innocent.
Avatar universal
My partner seems to be able to get aroused without a full erection. When we sleep together the marks will end up being higher in the pants because he was fully erect. The days he has had other marks they have been lower in the pants. Still something other than porn must be arousing him. I am not sure what it is but I know if there was smears on the front or alot of white and sort of crusty like stuff on the inside then I would be beleive he had been with someone. I am worried he could cheat and clean himself well in the bathroom but he says he hasn’t and wouldn’t cheat. My gut is confused. Hope you have cleared your mind on this issue. I still haven’t.
Avatar universal
I have the same thing happening with the white marks on my partners underwear we havnt had sex for 5 days and as soon as he’s back at work there are white marks I have a feeling he is cheating he says he not and that he hasn’t been aroused but something does not add up . Is mine cheating ?
10 Comments
It really depends on the marks where they are and what they really look like eg smeared on the front on inside or more like snail trails. Maybe have a look a few times after yous have had sex and then see if they are different. I would suggest he could be looking at porn my guy was hiding that and also he was pleasing him self on the way home. I beleive him now but its taken 7 months to really get the truth and feel at ease. Hope I can help.
Defiantly not porn he still has an old Huawei ph YouTube and other sites are very slow on his ph it was just a couple of smears not a snail trail I can’t look after we have had sex as he will sleep naked for the rest of the night and shower before bed in the a.m I’m very confused as to why there are these spots
Is it usually the day after sex you've seen the marks?
It’s usually in the evening when he gets home from Work showers and puts in wash so he’ll go work in morning and I’ll notice it in the evening showers morning and most nights not always nights but sometimes
If you have slept together the day before he can still leak some the next day and if he isn’t sweaty worker those marks would stay. If not the day after being with you he could be pleasuring himself my partner told me he sometimes does it on the way home ... i still don’t know why but it explains the marks. Or he could be talking or thinking about sexual things and getting semi aroused then when going limp again it can leak also. There is a few reasons. Also could be a medical one too.
Well he’s been getting the marks only on week days not in weekends even if we havnt slept together we may only do it 2 3 x a week he does work out at the gym every morning also he has told me he dosnt get aroused or get hardons while working
It could just be happening from the pressure at the gym of lifting things, that can happen. If its only a very small anount that is possible. Also he could be admiring someone at the gym maybe leaking a little or pleasing himself there? Its hard to say but if you ask alot he will either get really annoyed or be completely honest. What do you think you should do?  
My experience is they are quite embarrassed about talking about pleasing them self etc so he may just not want to tell you cause he is embarrassed .  
He did get very angry when I asked says  I’m being ridiculous and he wouldn’t cheat that I need to trust him says he wouldn’t be with me if he didn’t want to be he is to old to cheat and b that kind of man he is 40 this year
Id say its just innocent if the sex between you has not changed don’t stress about it just makes your life harder trust me. I have decided i feel like mine rathers porn and wanking over being with me now. Hope you feel a bit better.
Avatar universal
Spots on husband under wear
U need to take ur husband to a Urologist . he maybe having problems comin. He maybe getting prostate. You need to check to see if he's balls are getting inlarged. There are alot of complications  as we get older. 38 and higher need to see a gyn.. For woman or men and Urologist  for both,  hope u feel better
Avatar universal
It's called pearly penile papules. It's a genetic thing the men get from they're dad, grandfather, Uncle ect... They are 100% harmless, and only esthetic. If they bother you or him, he can have them Lazered off. But they are nothing to worry about at all. Just let him know you understand what it is and go on with your life. You contract acting from him, think of it as warts kind of, they're just there and nothing you can do about it, as long as your comfortable going down on his **** with them visible, you make him feel not so insecure and your love life won't be in any, sorry if it was, in any Jeaopardy. I promise they are nothing to worry about. I've got them to, and guess what... I've never ever had it be a problem if come up during sex. Good luck to you. If you have insurance though, they will freeze or burn them off for him, so when your giving him skull, it's smooth as a baby's but.
Avatar universal
The answer can be taken much seriously or ignored.

As a man and husband as well I am saying this. Every men have their own fantasies. Some men have on their wives also like me. Even her voice sometimes sexually arouses me. Some times her thought of lying with me in our living room is enough for me to have an arousal. At that time penis will start to tender and then erect. It's not necessary to ejaculate ev everytime i become aroused. Bt that can cause the internal process to start. So little lubrication will happen automatically even without our knowledge. At times a small portion of semen may be ejected. It's a natural thing. Ask your husband of whether he has the habit of viewing porn videos or having any sort of fantasies like me. You may get some wonderful answers worth satisfying which you could have never possibly thought of.
Avatar universal
Same here. I am in sales and recently got promoted so I travel a lot. On my live in bf’s underwear are semen smudges down lower and on the side of the opening. I asked him about it and he went unglued that I don’t trust him and am always suspicious.  I was thinking he was master bating at work but can’t even have a conversation with him. I don’t think he is cheating on me
2 Comments
I think checking out semen stains on your significant other's underwear qualifies as always suspicious.  Not trying to add on to your distress but that's definitely not a trusting partner.  Men ejaculate in their sleep sometimes.  I'd not worry about any stains on a man's underwear as proof of cheating ever.  But be concerned in changes in behavior and other signs more relevant.  good luck with the promotion.  Hope you enjoy it and all of your travels.  Invite him along here and there. That goes a long way to bettering a couple's situation when one travels.  
"I think checking out semen stains on your significant other's underwear qualifies as always suspicious." - I totally agree with this.

I think if someone is at the point of checking underwear, the relationship isn't at a good point. Is he not allowed to masturbate, at home or wherever? I think I'd come unglued if my partner was checking my underwear, to be honest.

If you don't think he's cheating on you, why are you checking his underwear?

I agree with GR - be more concerned about changes in behavior and other signs, and stop looking at his underwear. If you can't talk about these things, maybe it's because you aren't a safe space for them? Is he allowed to be truly open, or do you get upset with his answers? If he told you he was masturbating, would your first response be, "WHY? Why are you masturbating?" I mean, we don't know you, so I'm just tossing out possibilities.
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