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778578 tn?1251735818

sexuality

I am a 52 yr old man and I have not had sex with my wife in over a year . I dont get any urges anymore and have no desires for it .I want to enjoy sex as it is good for my well being but i've tried viagra, and you still have to have an urge to play . I dont have any at all .Sometimes I will masturbate in a chatroom with females  and sometimes i can ejaculate and some times not. When I do ejaculate which is rare I don't have a very good erection and its not very enjoyable. I want to know if there are other guys out there with the same problem and please give me some answers to let me know what to do . I love my wife and want to stay married to her but she is going to get fed up sooner or later and so far she has been very understanding.We have a great relationship otherwise, just no sex !!  Can anyone help ? Is there a pill or a herb or something to boost your libido to help you get a sexual urge to have sex?? I am really lost and could use some suggestions thank you ! p. s. I am on high blood pressure pills and am about 50 lbs overwieght
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Avatar universal
The blood pressure pills and weight as well as stress could be causing your problems. You need to talk to your Dr.
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Avatar universal
Also, going to chatrooms and masturbating will not lead to a solution--only more dead ends and complications.  While you work out your problems, you should get with your wife fairly often and show her some attention, whether or not you can get an erection, by kissing, hugging, laying close together, back rub, and oral stimulation.  Don't neglect your wife, as she has a stake in this too.  You and your wife could also get into an exercise program, if only taking daily walks, which would help the weight problem along with the blood pressure and general blood flow.  It could also be the meds you take and should be discussed with your doctor.  Instead of masturbating, ask your wife to give you a hand job once in a while, as this often works where intercourse will not, for some reason, when it comes to erections.  If this works out, you could possibly then eventually transfer your erection to intercourse.  
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Avatar universal
Hello!
My husband and I have the same problem with blood pressure medications and his lack of sex drive...We are a bit younger (in our mid 40s) and acknowledge that, even though sex itself is a problem, we still have a relationship and view the sexual part of it as an accent rather than the base of it. He has had to learn new ways to express himself and his love for me because he was not raised to be an outwardly expressive person. Because I still have a sex drive, he has bought me "toys" that we both "play" with and I give/ offer him hand jobs -even if things don't work out, -its not a big deal because we had fun messing around...Because of the meds he can't get an erection, so we substitute toys instead...I hope this helps...:)    ~MM
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