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teenage sexual health

My husband called me in a panic, because he thinks our 15 year old daughter was looking at porn on our computer. We also have a 17 year old son but he was away with me at the time. How should we handle this?  I am concerned about it and don't want her to start getting the wrong ideas in her head about how sex should be. My husband on the other hand thinks she should join a convent and she should never, never have these feelings. He had hoped it was my son doing the looking and not our daughter. I don't see the difference, either one looking would make me concerned.  I don't want them to get an unrealistic view of sex and relationships. Please give us advice.
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139792 tn?1498585650
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sorry for making confusion. I meant to inform you that the message you are replying is 4 years old. The member must have left long back.So we don't expect any response.
s
See the top message. There on the top of the message you will find a symbol of hour glass.This symbol indicates that message is old( more than 6 months) This is just for your information.
Almost all members makes this mistake some time.
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry I don't no what that means
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139792 tn?1498585650
COMMUNITY LEADER
The reply you are expecting from is 4 years old message. The person may not be in MH.
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Avatar universal
I think its normal dose she have a bf  if she dose that's when u should consurnend
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1549998 tn?1294165641
I'm a 17 year old girl. And as I'm sure you know, girls are really curious about sex. Just because she's looking at porn doesn't mean she'll catch the wrong idea. It could've just been your daughter and one of her friends looking at porn to get a "giggle." I suggest you just talk to her about it, and inform her that what she sees isn't love, but that it's okay to be curious.
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1470528 tn?1324694321
you are most welcome ma'am..
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Avatar universal
Thank you too cutegirl20 for taking the time to give your advice and help.
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Avatar universal
I wanted to thank you for your advice also, very helpful, thanks for taking the time to help.
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your help and advice we will have that talk.
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134578 tn?1693250592
A line got dropped.  It was

Just because she looked at a porn site does not mean she is thinking of having sex.  She might simply have stumbled across it and looked because she was astonished.
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134578 tn?1693250592
Being curious about sex and sexuality is normal.  Threatening to send her to a convent is ridiculous.  (Haven't you been following the scandals in the Catholic church?  Do you think the walls of the church block sexual thoughts?)  Just because she has looked at a porn site

The main thing I would do is sort of along the lines of what tiny says.

Tell her:

-  porn movies are not characteristic of real sex in a real relationship.  Love comes first, faithfulness and commitment next, and sex after that in the shelter of a committed relationship.

- porn is filmed by men for men.  The women are performing to exaggerated male fantasies, acting ways that are not too characteristic of real sex, devoid of emotion, and often demeaning.

- a woman with true respect for herself would not perform in a porno film, and for that matter, she would not do anything she is uncomfortable with in bed.

Tell her you love her and trust that she has enough self-respect never to have sex without meaning, or to do anything in bed just because her partner asks her to -- she has to want it also.  

Then let it go.  Kids are curious about sexual matters (in my day it was sneaking peeks at Playboy and Penthouse magazines).  Probably she was just curious.  She might even have been shocked.
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1470528 tn?1324694321
hello ma'am.. i'm not very experienced as i myself don't have kids at this point of time but i too crossed my teenage and can be of some help.. hushing up the topic of sex from kids increases their curiosity and interest in the subject.. they have just become pubescent so their interest in the topic is already there.. to a daughter mum is the biggest support.. if u can convince your daughter to confide all her secrets with u and u can assure her that u'll help her might be she'll ask u things and get satisfied rather than searching for answers on her own.. regarding in the case of boys i would say it's a bit difficult to control boys than girls.. i completely agree with tiny2345 on wat she did.. and it's not just on the topic of sex but any other issue or topic she would like to talk to u..
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Avatar universal
i have a 15 yr old daughter too who has been looking at porn sites for awhile i caught her  myself...i sat down with her talked to her about the meaning of sex and that sex should only take place when two people are in love and should wait til they are old enough to make that grown up dicission and what she was looking at on the computer, were from people who never had loving caring moms and dads that never respected their own bodies, that is very unrespectful.....  she seemed to understand but now and again i remind her of that fact  that sex is only to take place when two people are in love and should wait til they are old enough to make that proper dicissions tell her everyday i love her and i am concerned for her well being...that seems to be working for  us so far, my advice is to sit and talk to her about this and how it makes urself and her father think about this....hope everything gets worked out for u and ur family!
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