Aa
Girl Interrupted...
Guess who? This should be interesting.
I didn't see a "sleep" section here on MedHelp, so I decided to post this here, since it concerns me and my girlfriend.
Whenever we sleep together - I mean literally, get in bed and go to sleep - she doesn't get a good night's sleep. I usually toss and turn and keep her awake or wake her from her sleep - repeatedly - throughout the night. Earlier this week, according to her, I tried to push her out of the bed. A few weeks ago, I hit her (I apparently slapped her in the head).
I assure her I have no idea I'm doing these things and she assures me she knows I'm not doing it on purpose. She continues to let me sleep in her bed. But what is my problem?
This morning, after a restful, uninterrupted three hours of peaceful somnolence, she wondered if I have sleep apnea. I don't know; and can't begin to theorize what the problem might be.
I do know, however, that I have always had issues with sleep. For a few years in my late teens, I absolutely abhorred sleeping and did everything in my power to avoid it. For about three or four years, I consistently slept no more than four hours a night. I continue to struggle with sleep issues, but not near the issues I once had.
I've considered variables that might differ between how I sleep at home (alone) and how I sleep with her. For example, with her, I sleep with some clothes on, whereas at home, I sleep in the nude (oh, look, it's the TMI police). Could such a trivial factor make a difference? This was never an issue with previous girlfriend's (that I know of).
Her patience is yawning - help!
I didn't see a "sleep" section here on MedHelp, so I decided to post this here, since it concerns me and my girlfriend.
Whenever we sleep together - I mean literally, get in bed and go to sleep - she doesn't get a good night's sleep. I usually toss and turn and keep her awake or wake her from her sleep - repeatedly - throughout the night. Earlier this week, according to her, I tried to push her out of the bed. A few weeks ago, I hit her (I apparently slapped her in the head).
I assure her I have no idea I'm doing these things and she assures me she knows I'm not doing it on purpose. She continues to let me sleep in her bed. But what is my problem?
This morning, after a restful, uninterrupted three hours of peaceful somnolence, she wondered if I have sleep apnea. I don't know; and can't begin to theorize what the problem might be.
I do know, however, that I have always had issues with sleep. For a few years in my late teens, I absolutely abhorred sleeping and did everything in my power to avoid it. For about three or four years, I consistently slept no more than four hours a night. I continue to struggle with sleep issues, but not near the issues I once had.
I've considered variables that might differ between how I sleep at home (alone) and how I sleep with her. For example, with her, I sleep with some clothes on, whereas at home, I sleep in the nude (oh, look, it's the TMI police). Could such a trivial factor make a difference? This was never an issue with previous girlfriend's (that I know of).
Her patience is yawning - help!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It sounds like you have had a sleep disorder for a long time. You may have inordinantely polite girlfriends, or it might have gotten worse over time. ( for example, if you had a significant weight gain, it can make it harder to breath easily during sleep). If it is sleep apnea it can be dangerous-because you are waking up and tossing because you aren't getting enough air. In serious cases, a person has to wear an oxygen mask to keep the airflow going or there is a chance of suffocation.
There are some superficial things you can do- like get rid of the double bed and get two singles that can be pushed together for love making and separated for sleeping-- but I think your situation sounds troublesome enough to go to a sleep clinic. Yes, I said a sleep clinic. Many large universities and hospitals have one, because so many people have trouble sleeping and they are extremely good at figuring out what is actually the root problem ( nasal passageways, inadequate oxygen delivery, psychological issues, etc_) and are expert at finding answers as well. I would strongly encourage you to visit one- even if you have to travel some distance to do it. Reserve a few days for this- often they will want to watch you sleep and record what they need to know with video cameras and other gadgets that will tell if you go into deep sleep or not and other important data.
Treat this seriously- because more than your relationship may be at stake. Not that that isn't reason enough to do something about it-- but your health could be in jeopardy so you need to find out what is actually going on.
It sounds like you have some issues with sleep that stem way back. I personally LOVE to sleep, and would NEVER avoid it at all costs!!! :-) Maybe you should go in and have a sleep study done (I think you may have to wear something, though!). They should be able to tell if you have sleep apnea, or something else is going on. Didn't you say that you haven't been dating your girlfriend long, either? Maybe in the back of your mind, you aren't real comfortable yet, therefore do not sleep well. Do you feel rested after 4 hours?? I'd be such a grouch, no one would want to get near me!!
2_Sweet, I absolutely adore my girlfriend and totally enjoy all the time I spend with her, even in bed. This is partly why it's so frustrating. There are times when I just want to lay down with her and hold her and if we need sleep because she has to get up early and go to work the next morning, I know she's apprehensive about sleeping with me.
The one thing I can say is that when I'm tired enough, I can sleep anywhere. And I've done so. I once fell asleep in a racecar (a topless, very old, rickity, very loud racecar) while it was barrelling down the roadway. I'm comfortable enough to be able to sleep just about anywhere, if I need to sleep. I'm just not always fond of sleeping.
Last night, when we went to bed, I tried something different. I didn't hold her as I usually do. Three hours later, we both awoke and I asked her how the night went. Before she could even say that the night went smoothly, she said, "you didn't hold me once the entire night" and my heart just sank. I want to hold her, but not if it's going to cause trouble throughout the night.
I've never had this problem with other girlfriends (holding or not) and so I don't know what to do. A sleep test sounds best, but I have no health insurance and certainly can't afford to pay cash on a sleep study.
The one thing I can say is that when I'm tired enough, I can sleep anywhere. And I've done so. I once fell asleep in a racecar (a topless, very old, rickity, very loud racecar) while it was barrelling down the roadway. I'm comfortable enough to be able to sleep just about anywhere, if I need to sleep. I'm just not always fond of sleeping.
Last night, when we went to bed, I tried something different. I didn't hold her as I usually do. Three hours later, we both awoke and I asked her how the night went. Before she could even say that the night went smoothly, she said, "you didn't hold me once the entire night" and my heart just sank. I want to hold her, but not if it's going to cause trouble throughout the night.
I've never had this problem with other girlfriends (holding or not) and so I don't know what to do. A sleep test sounds best, but I have no health insurance and certainly can't afford to pay cash on a sleep study.
i thought you two broke up? i cant keep up with you! you're better than a soap opera!
We did. But, after a week of not speaking to each other, she finally initiated contact (which is a good thing, 'cause I was about to go stark raving mad).
A flurry of e-mails back and forth resulted in an agreement to meet. I explained to her, plain and simply, that I missed her. She admitted the same. We talked about some stuff and although we still have some things we need to discuss, it looks like we're once again an item (we better be, I passed on the cashier's phone number at the local grocer!).
In all seriousness though, it's been a rollercoaster the last two weeks, but we're both happy now that we're back "together". Maybe I should start a separate, on-going, soap opera-type thread for all to enjoy. : )
A flurry of e-mails back and forth resulted in an agreement to meet. I explained to her, plain and simply, that I missed her. She admitted the same. We talked about some stuff and although we still have some things we need to discuss, it looks like we're once again an item (we better be, I passed on the cashier's phone number at the local grocer!).
In all seriousness though, it's been a rollercoaster the last two weeks, but we're both happy now that we're back "together". Maybe I should start a separate, on-going, soap opera-type thread for all to enjoy. : )
Doc, thank you for the reply; I certainly appreciate your time and professional advice. I just spoke with a friend whose wife just finished a sleep clinic for "a mere $2-3K", so that's not an option. I usually balk at things that are two to three hundred dollars - two or three thousand is a completely different story (I'm a writer - it's my destiny to be poor forever).
If I ever have the chance, I'll certainly do the clinic, but as it stands, my girlfriend is just going to have to handcuff me to the bedpost or something - I don't like sleep as it is, there's no way I'm going to save that kind of coin to investigate it further! : )
Again, I do appreciate your time and professionalism, thank you. Maybe I can explore other solutions that are of a more cost-efficient venue. If I do reach any other successful alternative, I'll be sure to post them. Thankk you.
If I ever have the chance, I'll certainly do the clinic, but as it stands, my girlfriend is just going to have to handcuff me to the bedpost or something - I don't like sleep as it is, there's no way I'm going to save that kind of coin to investigate it further! : )
Again, I do appreciate your time and professionalism, thank you. Maybe I can explore other solutions that are of a more cost-efficient venue. If I do reach any other successful alternative, I'll be sure to post them. Thankk you.
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