How to improve sex with my husband

[dixiegrl]

Sex with my very "vanilla" husband has become boring and frustrating. While he agrees that we need to engage in more foreplay, when we're in the bedroom, he wants to rush right into intercourse. Then to top it off, he lasts about 1 minute. Then he quickly loses interest in helping me enjoy a real orgasm. He always apologizes for "losing his head," but his apologies ring hollow. He doesn't seem to be sincerely looking for ways to change in the bedroom.

I've told him a number of times that I would like him to caress me all over my body, not just head directly to my private parts. I've told him about the "Ladies First" principle. I've asked him many times to spank me. I've suggested that role playing would be fun. When we're having a discussion, he seems to understand and agree that "we need more practice", but when we're in bed, it's back to his old habits.

I make an effort to wear sexy lingerie and massage him and pleasure him with hand jobs and lots of oral sex. He claims he has no complaints about our sex life. He repeatedly tells our sex life is the best he's ever had. I wish I could say the same, but I can't. I am sick and tired of our lackluster, boring sex life and I feel powerless in trying to change it.  

At this point I'm feeling frustrated and a little angry. Talk is cheap. How can I get my message across to him effectively, without making him feel like he's a lousy lover. I feel as if I'm always going the extra mile and still getting the short end of the stick.

He and I married 2 years ago. We are both 58 and have been seeing each other for 5 years.

[Trialanderror]

Yes, age is not always the cause - some 30-year-olds get lazy in the sack already, the old in-and-out-done, usually caused by boring daily relationship routines. Sometimes it helps to get out of each other`s face for a while and play happy re-union. Sometimes it helps to change the scenery, travelling together or just staying in a hotel for a night - even though I can almost hear your husband say: "What`s that for? I`m not gonna waste money on a hotel." Or you stack up on juicy magazines and sex toys for yourself and your husband will just want to join in. In my home country, older couples sometimes go to night clubs together to spark their whatevers. I personally think the change of scenery is best. The last thing you want is having to do a pole dance each night for the rest of your life...Good luck.

[RockRose]

Dixie - have  you ever had a man,  for 5 years,  who kept up with your level of sexuality and sexual needs?

Maybe you could get a vibrator and integrate that into foreplay?    I'm kind of thinking at 58,  your man doesn't really want to spank you.  

Best wishes in figuring this out.   It seems like there are many vibrators on the  market that might be what you both need.