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I feel like my fiancé would rather masterbate than have sex with me

Me and my fiancé have been together for 2 years now. Over time, our sex life has dwindled. The times I try to initiate sex, she tells me she's tired,etc. After I fall asleep,I discovered that she masterbates next to me, sometimes with porn. This happens in the morning also, almost daily. Without telling her I know this, I asked her if she wants to watch some porn with me while we have sex. She tells me watching porn doesn't turn her on. When we do have sex, during foreplay, she doesn't get wet unless I give her oral. She tells me its the soap she uses that causes the dryness. She also rarely initiates sex with me. I'm sure you get the drift on how our sex life is on a regular basis. Honestly, I love her, and I don't doubt she loves me. I do want to spend the rest of my life with her, and vise versa. I don't think she is attracted to me, and it eats away at me. I don't know what to do. PLEASE HELP!!
7 Responses
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523042 tn?1212177895
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.

No one can tell you what's going on with your girlfriend. You need to talk with her about this and find out. Open up the communication with her, and you'll be surprised at how much better things will get. Stop trying to guess. A good way to begin a discussion is to remember not to attack or accuse her. Approach her and tell her that you've been noticing she's not interested in being sexual lately. Tell her you love her and that you'd like her to share with you what's going on for her. You may be surprised at what you find out. It could be a very simple issue, or it might be quite complex. At any rate, just sitting there and worrying isn't helping your relationship at all. Time to reach out and find out what's going on.Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hear me out man I do feel bad for you. Has this always been happening since you've been having sex? And if not When did she start not getting turned on to you? I guess its just some things to think about, sorry Not much help.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hear me out man I do feel bad for you. Has this always been happening since you've been having sex? And if not When did she start not getting turned on to you? I guess its just some things to think about, sorry Not much help.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal

isince you have notice that she love u, maybe u must let her know that you know all her mastubation, and face the reality and try and get proffessional help before is too later.
Helpful - 0
1551963 tn?1302292732
that is something to worry about. if you did have a good sex life and all of a sudden you don't and there is know arguments and etc to cause disruption. plus she is masturbating to get her rocks off so it aint no womenly changes issue. dude, you might want to keep an eye on the mail man. just sayin'.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Bro I feel you pain. Have you tried exploring her body and giving her mental stimulation at the same time? We girls are complex creatures but there are some things that are simple. How do you look? Are you taking care of yourself? Did you cheat on her? A women could have many reasons to become selfish in the bedroom. I masturbate but never take away from my man with me. She should at least give you that. Then she can go get some more for herself. We girls can go and go and did I mention go.  Ask yourself that gut wrenching question... "who loves who more?" face it, if you know the answer. You don't want to go forward out of duty and wake up ten years later with three kids later and realize you are alone and stuck. But before you get that far.... Have you asked her what she likes? Are you willing to try something new with her!
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
A related discussion, refuses sex, convinced I'm a cheater? was started.
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