guys loose interest in sex for lots of reasons. Hormones & stress are 2 leading factors, with depression coming up on a close 3rd. If its tha later, make sure he never gets on a med that has negative sexual side effects, if its the first its easily curable, if its stress then he needs to find the source of the problem and fix it, and increase exercise.
The problem is, often guys dont want to get help. When we loose our sexual nature, its hard to admit and it often is some relief in comparison to our normal thinking about sex ever 5 min mode. However, this can be hard on a relationship and cause stress in a marriage.
Porn often doesnt equal an interest in sex, guys are just drawn to it often even without a libido. My testosterone level is VERY low right now, castrate levels, and i still like it.
My GF had to lead me to the water but couldnt make me drink, so to say. I didnt even get the concept it should be different, that desire should be part of my psychology. Im very recently on testosterone replacement as i finally accepted there should be more, but it took a while.
Do not think it is yourself, ok? I doubt its an affair, its just some psychological or physical issues. also, some medications can kill the libido, especially hair loss & depression medications.
Some people just have low sex drives, Some have high. Mine is always high. My Wifes is non existant, but we manage.
At 25 if he has very low he should get checked out. Might be medical. I have known 2 guys in thier mid 20's to 'avoid' their wives. One was found out to medical, the other guy turned out to be gay.
I just want to say thanks to everyone who has replied to this message! Some of the things that you said (donb_fl) makes sense. I just have another ?. I sometimes think that he gets depressed about his physical appearance. There is absolutely nothing wrong with his appearance in fact a lot of women I know always say how hot he is. He is always trying to "improve" himself. How do I help him to realize that there is nothing wrong with him! He's not on any medication but he does have back problems that are now getting worse and making him more depressed but he never really never shows it. Thanks a lot for you opinions!
Pain causes stress, stress causes libido dysfunction. So does depression. The pain can incese cortisol and lactic acid in the system, both libido killers.
Self image issues I know, deeply. Im in therapy for it. I haven't overcame it but im making progress. I wish i had better advice than "get a therapist" but its the only one i can give. Most antidepressants have libido killing powers, but wellbutrin SR is known for increasing it. I use it with good success to manage my low testosterone depression and increase my sensitivity.
Is he using ANY type of medication? Even medium doses of tagamet for heartburn can decrease testosterone in the system.
If he is regularly exercising, it can do nothing but help. Don't discourage this, it will help the healing process in his back and help his stress level.
Switching to my professional hat, your husband needs a full physical and blood workup, CBC, Comprehensive Metabolic Panel / hepatic panel Lipid Profile, Testosterone -Total + Free, Estradiol, PT/PTT.
I love my girlfriend and would never hurt her, but these issues caused great stress in our relationship. I had my first testosterone shot last Friday and im already noticing the change, It feels good, i dont know why i waited so long to get help. In 5 days my entire mood has changed. I hope whatever is wrong for your husband is easly curable, and don't hesitate to ask me questions if you got them. 25 years old is too young to not have a libido, there is something not right.
Hey, if he is anything like me just ask him to go to the doctor and get help, if even just an evaluation to calm your fears for his health, instead of letting it get in an argument, show your true feelings. It wasn't until my GF started crying when she was trying to tell me to get help that i realized something was profoundly wrong with me, and how much it was affecting our relationship.
Omg I'm so thankkful to find all of you! I have been so depressed and have actually thought of leaving my husband I love him to pieces but I just feel there's no hope. I feel as if he dosent want me anymore! I thought it was just me and I can't possibly take him to couseling for this his ex wife had and still has him in counseling for everything and anything you can think of from there marriage and now with there children. Anyways my husband spends so much time by himself i can't stand it I feel so alone even if he's in the den. he never kisses me he never wants to have sex and if he does it's usually when he's drinking and forget it if he has to much to drink I can't deal i feel so weak and so undesired. this is my second marriage and i didnt have this problem before. Why do men quit being affectionate? I just feel so sad I cry and cry and pray and think whats wrong with me.. so please keep the comments coming it helps others to know it's not just them!!!
Have you ever expressed your feelings to him? There are a lot of things that my husband doesn't understand until I say "well how would you feel if..." and then he puts his self into my shoes and most of the time can see where I'm coming from. My husband is very affectionate he just never feels like having sex. Some men don't even realize that they are hurting you until you say something! Has he always been like this? You should never feel depressed if he is not being affectionate towards you that doesn't mean that its you! He could have issues of his own but you will never know unless you ask and take it from my experience never jump to conclusions and just assume things because if you sit around thinking of all the possible reasons you will drive yourself CRAZY!! I know I used to let my mind wonder and I would come up with some crazy things and I would just get myself mad/upset!