Oral sex * husbands

[redkitty]

My husband has wanted oral sex more then actual intercourse in the past year and a half.  He says that he needs it in order to get it up to be able to preform better.  What could be the cause if there is one? I do not enjoy giving oral mainly because he does not preform for me, and if there is something that can be done that will help in him not needing it as often then I would be grateful.  Thanks!

[Ookami11]

Idea? Try suggesting 69ing or maybe you perform oral on him while he fingers you etc. That way its not one sided. If he refuses than you shouldn't perform it. He is acting selfishly then.

[goldenlady1976]

Sounds like he just enjoy having oral sex.. But he should do you too!  Men get spoiled very easily when it comes to sex.  But they have to spoil you too.  Turn the tables, tell him what he told you.  That you would perform better if he did you.

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

it sounds like he is having erection problems and that oral sex helps him get or stay erect. If this is the real issue, you should talk to him about looking into Viagra or one of the drugs ( Caelis, Levitra) that help maintain erections.  He should at least be willing to go to a doctor and get a test that sees if his testosterone is low or blood flow is impeded..

Meanwhile, you should not have to do more oral sex than you really want. You are not there as a service worker but as his partner. Sure, you can do some to please him- but not when it is so obviously not fun for you. We should all try and please our partners- but not be alienated by doing something that is not even somewhat pleasurable

If he won't see a doctor to look into some help and if he insists on oral sex ( does he return the favor?) and you don't want to concentrate on that-- then you insist on going to see a sexual or relationship therapist to see what can be worked out between you. Remember- this is a marriage , not sex for hire- and you shouldn't be put in that position.

[SixStringer]

A marriage is all about give and take and working as a team for the benefit of both.  When it comes to sex, each partner should be satisfied.  For many men, a blowjob feels better than intercourse depending upon where and how the woman uses her lips and tongue.  However, he should perform oral on you once he has been satisfied, or you both could do "69" and stay in position until you both are satisfied.  Variety is nice too, so intercourse might be done also, with you on top sometimes.  He is being selfish, and marriage counseling may be in order.  

[jml1986]

There is no reason for it except he must enjoy it. I wouldn't give unless I was getting personally. Love making is about two people and if one isn't getting any pleasure out of it and the other is, then there needs to be some changes made.