WHY IS HE ALWAYS B*TCHIN AND PUTTING ME DOWN??

[mommy200821]

Im not sure if love would be the topic, but my boyfriend is becoming more and more of a **** evryday and im getting fed up with it. He is always calling me down, saying i need to lose weight and that i would be a better lover if i were 100 lbs, well im 170 and had a baby eight months ago, exercising isnt exactly on my priority list.  I walk alot so there you go, oviously not good enough for him. Stupid little things like not putting somthing away or the fridge didnt close properly, he makes the biggest friggin deal a man could make! and makes me feel dumb.  He alaways rather go hang out with a friend than stay here and actually visit with his son, oviously theres more important things cause he doesnt help out with baby stuff at all! I am so depressed and dont know what to do with my life, cause i have no where to go really! My boyfriend has somewhat put me in debt with my credit cards (so have i), im trying to cancel them all but freaks on that too! i just dont know what to do anymore, i feel helpless! I just wish he would be more affectionet and care about the things i do for him, and i do ALOT!!! he works and pays rent and a few bills, and what do i do everything, to even taking the trash bags out on wedensdays, cause he never does, nor bothers with housework, just makes the  mess!! so what do i do???? everytime i try to save money something happens and it never works out!! I have no family here so it makes it tougher!!

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

And you're with this guy because????

You need someone to talk with and sort this out. You're unhappy and being controlled by someone who may or may not care for you. It sounds to me like you're very young, and your circumstances as a single mom may seem overwhelming to you, but, believe me, there's help. Even though you have no family, surely you have some close friends to share with? This can help you feel less isolated as well as give you some perspective. And what about email? Even though your family isn't near, you might try emailing them and letting them know what's going on.

It might be helpful for you to contact your closest women's clinic to ask about free or low-cost counseling options. A counselor can help you decide what your next steps are and direct you to resources in your community. Best of luck to you. Dr. J

[greatsexguide]

What you're experiencing is an abusive relationship.  It's based on power and control.  By putting you down he is trying to break you down so that you feel bad about yourself.  A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect and from what you describe that is not happening.  Although he isn't physically abusive, it's just as bad.  If you would like to get some help, call your local battered women's shelter.  They have services and support to help you out.  To find one, call the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233.