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vibrators and sensitivity
is there any evidence to suggest that vibrators can cause nerve damage to the clitoris that would result in some permanent loss of sensation? i just want to know if continuous use of a vibrator will make it harder for me to have orgasms with a partner as i get older.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
There is no evidence, that I know of, of nerve damage to a clitoris from a vibrator. At least not from any vibrators that are sold as sexual toys. There may beother things that vibrate that you use that have stronger vibrations but none of the ones that are marketed as sex toys have a vibration strong enough to hurt you. If you do use a vibrator for a long time , it could make you temporarily numb-- but again, in my experience, that does not last. If you mean "contiuous use" is daily, or for twenty minutes or so at a session- this is not unusual--if you mean hours without stopping- I have no idea what that might do--
In general, you might get used to the increased sensations that a vibrator gives rather than the softer ,slower touch of a man-and that might make it a little harder to switch from one kind of sensation to the ther other. If it does, or you are worried that it might, what I would reccomend, is to vary using your vibrator one day with using your own finger on another day so that you keep being used to both kinds of sensation. You can have orgasms different ways- just don't get too used to any one way or you will have a bit more trouble adopting a change in technique.
I sell sex toys and I'm studying to be a sex therapist (seriously). I also lead sex workshops/discussion groups and have done extensive research on a huge variety of sexual issues and concerns.
Anyway, you are exactly like about 70% of women... you need direct clitoral stimulation to come. Which makes perfect sense--your clitoris is basically analogous to the penis in terms of sensitivity, and your vagina is more like his scrotum. Would you think something was wrong with your partner if he couldn't come from just stroking his scrotum alone? 'Course not. There's nothing wrong with you, either. You're just fine.
The unfortunate thing is our sex-phobic society has developed all these weird rules about what's "normal" and what's not. Some sex therapists have suggested our society is so afraid of sex, we focus on intercourse as some sort of ultimate activity because that way we don't have to imagine and fantasize, lol. That's why we have this whole culture of intercourse, why so much of our sexuality revolves around one TINY part of our sexuality and why there's so much denial of all the rest. I so totally agree. What difference does it make whether you come from a vibe, your hand, his tongue, or anything else, or anytime else? Enjoy your orgasm, however and whenever you get it. :-)
Anyway, you are exactly like about 70% of women... you need direct clitoral stimulation to come. Which makes perfect sense--your clitoris is basically analogous to the penis in terms of sensitivity, and your vagina is more like his scrotum. Would you think something was wrong with your partner if he couldn't come from just stroking his scrotum alone? 'Course not. There's nothing wrong with you, either. You're just fine.
The unfortunate thing is our sex-phobic society has developed all these weird rules about what's "normal" and what's not. Some sex therapists have suggested our society is so afraid of sex, we focus on intercourse as some sort of ultimate activity because that way we don't have to imagine and fantasize, lol. That's why we have this whole culture of intercourse, why so much of our sexuality revolves around one TINY part of our sexuality and why there's so much denial of all the rest. I so totally agree. What difference does it make whether you come from a vibe, your hand, his tongue, or anything else, or anytime else? Enjoy your orgasm, however and whenever you get it. :-)
A related discussion, What evidence do you have that vibrators don't cause nerve damage? was started.
"el broken"! ha ha, thanks folks. its comforting to hear other people talk about this stuff. just when i think i'm all alone. i still can't come from intercourse (without manual clitoral stimulation) but as far as i can tell i'm a pro at orgasming with a tongue or hand, it doesn't take more than a few minutes most times. i still wonder if i could be sensitive enough to orgasm by vaginal penetration alone if only i hadn't ever used a vibrator in the first place. but who knows how realistic that theory is.
monkeyflower, it's encouraging that you sound so emphatic in your assertion that vibrators do not cause nerve damage. the fact that numbness often occurs after vibrator sessions is what led me to wonder about it. i'm just curious -- how are you so certain? just personal experience?
by the way, on the subject of female orgasm, my boyfriend recently found out one of his ex girlfriends was not having orgasms during their intercourse like he thought she was. not that she was "faking it", but my point is guys don't need to feel stupid if you can't tell, it's not because you aren't experienced or "savvy" enough. could someone tell if you were faking it just by your sounds and movements? i know men who have faked it to get it over with in some situations, and it worked, becuase unless you look for the ejaculate there's no way to be sure.
monkeyflower, it's encouraging that you sound so emphatic in your assertion that vibrators do not cause nerve damage. the fact that numbness often occurs after vibrator sessions is what led me to wonder about it. i'm just curious -- how are you so certain? just personal experience?
by the way, on the subject of female orgasm, my boyfriend recently found out one of his ex girlfriends was not having orgasms during their intercourse like he thought she was. not that she was "faking it", but my point is guys don't need to feel stupid if you can't tell, it's not because you aren't experienced or "savvy" enough. could someone tell if you were faking it just by your sounds and movements? i know men who have faked it to get it over with in some situations, and it worked, becuase unless you look for the ejaculate there's no way to be sure.
okay, here it goes...if i am using a vibrator for a while (like, oh, i dont know, 10/15 minutes), the sensation no longer feels good. i actually feel nothing. the area seems "numb" if you will. that's what i personally meant by "desensitization"
there..y'all happy now? now you know i use one! LOL!
there..y'all happy now? now you know i use one! LOL!
Oh yeah, that's why you should move it around, alternate pressure, change speeds, whatever. But that numbing is very temporary :-)
And sex toys are a HUGE industry. HUGE. You are definitely not alone ;-)
And sex toys are a HUGE industry. HUGE. You are definitely not alone ;-)
yeah, that's what i was thinking (change speeds and stuff) but it's just an el cheapo and the speed "dial" is el broken and only goes one speed which is too high! LOL! owell.
Vibrators do NOT cause nerve damage or desensitization. However, people can easily get used to coming in a particular way, and it sounds like this might be the case for you. It's not a bad thing, but if you're interested in broadening your horizons, alternate your vibe with other vibes/intensity/patterns, your hand, other materials, with lube, without lube, etc.
Oh well, I guess the woman I've been with have faked it pretty darn well. : )
don't get upset, your still the "man" and i'm sure the girls love ya, but face facts bud, our "tools" aren't "powered" !!!
to me the best kind of girl is the one with the box of "toys"
under her bed ! hahaha l.e.
to me the best kind of girl is the one with the box of "toys"
under her bed ! hahaha l.e.
Wow..maybe our friend John has been using the ol' hanging weights technique. (old post, remember?)
Leif, my fondness for you grows and grows and grows....
Oceans!! I miss you...
Seriously, John..I'm one of the fortunate women who don't have such a hard time with climax. (TMI, I know). However, ( by the way, Oceans, I hear buzzing coming from you), it took 10 years of marriage to get it right! If you are able to please your woman every time, then you are doing something right. Keep up the good work--!!
Carrot, anyone?
Leif, my fondness for you grows and grows and grows....
Oceans!! I miss you...
Seriously, John..I'm one of the fortunate women who don't have such a hard time with climax. (TMI, I know). However, ( by the way, Oceans, I hear buzzing coming from you), it took 10 years of marriage to get it right! If you are able to please your woman every time, then you are doing something right. Keep up the good work--!!
Carrot, anyone?
glad..i miss you too!! we just celebrated our 10th yr anniversary so shouldnt i be about due now???? i guess you have to have sex though huh? LOL!!
yeah glad, you're in the 20% who can! you're guys a stud what can i say?
yes, john it is quite possible that she faked it. i know a LOT of woman do. i never really knew the reason for that (maybe to get it over with..LOL) but i never faked one.
yeah glad, you're in the 20% who can! you're guys a stud what can i say?
yes, john it is quite possible that she faked it. i know a LOT of woman do. i never really knew the reason for that (maybe to get it over with..LOL) but i never faked one.
sorry oceans, nothing bigger that a toothpick would fit, i'm proud to say !!! hahahaha t.m.i. l.e.
ha ha..leif, as soon as i read john from ct. post, i'm like,..oh no! trouble!
i guess he's my "neighbor" i am from MA.
anyway, you're right leif..majority of woman do not orgasm through sexual intercourse. i think like 80% or something like that. we need the ole right hand or vibrator to do the trick. nothing against a man or anything. just need that direct clitoral stimulation. wait...what is that constant buzzing sound??
i guess he's my "neighbor" i am from MA.
anyway, you're right leif..majority of woman do not orgasm through sexual intercourse. i think like 80% or something like that. we need the ole right hand or vibrator to do the trick. nothing against a man or anything. just need that direct clitoral stimulation. wait...what is that constant buzzing sound??
dont go wierd on me or get defensive, but most girls i know
both as friends and lovers have claimed that as much as they love regular good old sex, they can't get that toe curling crazy
orgasm without the stimulation that a vibrator gives them.
i know that every girl is unique in thier needs, but from what i've heard the vibrator is a billion dollar industry for a reason. ever see a catalog for them, it's unbelievable !! haha
whats your take ? l.e.
both as friends and lovers have claimed that as much as they love regular good old sex, they can't get that toe curling crazy
orgasm without the stimulation that a vibrator gives them.
i know that every girl is unique in thier needs, but from what i've heard the vibrator is a billion dollar industry for a reason. ever see a catalog for them, it's unbelievable !! haha
whats your take ? l.e.
Leif: What do you mean most woman need a vibrator for orgasms??
is that a "two stroke" engine vibrator ? ever see one of those machine things that you sit on ? now THATS got to damage something ! haha
l.e.
l.e.
haha ha ah...solar panel.oh..the kinky naturalist/kinky environMENTAList! LOL! leaf..you CAN use one for your anal area ya know!
i agree...put the vibrator away for a while. it does tend to desensitise (sp?) the area. even when using it during one "session" for a while. practice with your hand for a while (alone).
i agree...put the vibrator away for a while. it does tend to desensitise (sp?) the area. even when using it during one "session" for a while. practice with your hand for a while (alone).
in time (without use) you may get back to normal, if you can take it. as far as i know MOST woman do need a vibrator for
orgasms. it's no replacement for what you get out of sex, but
does the job it needs to do. hell, if i was a girl i'd be using
it 24/7, i would get one i could hook up to a solar panel for
around the clock operation, and if things got dull, i'd buy
attachments !! haha l.e.
orgasms. it's no replacement for what you get out of sex, but
does the job it needs to do. hell, if i was a girl i'd be using
it 24/7, i would get one i could hook up to a solar panel for
around the clock operation, and if things got dull, i'd buy
attachments !! haha l.e.
I HIGHLY doubt it. Jeez, how hard are you F*****G that thing? Obviously hard if it's raising that kind of question. Wow!
actually, i don't even use it on the highest setting. the reason i ask is this: when i first started having sex i was unable to have orgasms, so i always wondered whether it was because i learned on a vibrator and it had dulled my sense receptors. all the women's sexuality experts are so pro-vibrator, i was just curious if anyone had ever examined the possibility of some desensitization as a result of long-term use. personally, i am a little down on them, i think if i had learned how to come with my hand in the first place it wouldn't have taken so long for me to learn how to get off from another human being. the truth is, nothing a person ever does is going to feel like electric vibrations, and i've experienced some of the best oral sex in the world. but i am sure no one could have gotten me off until i learned how it felt to do it without the vibes. that's why i wish i had gotten the chance to figure out how to do it myself before i got the massager. oh well, can't reverse time i guess.
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