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How to orgasim during intercourse
I need to know how to find my spot from the inside. Im with a new man now and I dont know how to find my G spot. Im really good at faking though. Ive never had a man get me to orgasm from intercourse. I know where it is from the outside but I want to find it on the inside. The man I am with says he will find it no problem but every man has said that.....
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi there.
Part of your problem is you're listening to men--most of whom know nothing about female sexuality. Listen to your body, and learn from yourself. You're in charge of your sexuality.
I'm so glad you asked about orgasms and your sexuality because the more knowledge you have, the happier your sex life will be.
First of all, there's no such thing as a "clitoral" orgasm or a “G spot” orgasm. An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. Most women orgasm only if the clitoris is stimulated--either directly or indirectly, whether during penis-vagina sex or not (although most women don’t orgasm during p-v sex).
And not every woman has a sensitive G Spot. Those that do, report that stimulating it brings them great pleasure as well as orgasm.
There are many women who don’t have a sensitive G Spot and others who don’t enjoy that kind of stimulation. It doesn't lead to orgasm magically in every woman. It isn't a magic button, but simply another part of your anatomy that may responsive to pleasure. In addition, stimulation of the G Spot may also lead to an orgasm in which some women release fluid from the urethra. But it’s important to remember that like many aspects of sexuality, there’s no “one-size-fits-all,” and everyone is different.
If you want to find out more about your G Spot, the best way is during self-pleasuring. Some women want to find their G Spot because they feel that if they do, they’ll have orgasms during p-v sex. Please don’t put that performance expectation on yourself, but rather enjoy your own unique sexuality, however you experience it.
Most of us learn about women’s orgasms from movies, TV and books. You know: the perfect, romantic, spontaneous, simultaneous, earth-moving Big O. We’re supposed to orgasm from 2 minutes of p-v sex in the missionary position in the dark with a partner who is clueless. So we put this pressure on ourselves and are mostly disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
Here’s the reality: In women, the clitoris must be stimulated—either directly or indirectly—in order for orgasm to happen. The clitoris is our primary sex organ--not the vagina--and consists of the glans (or head), the hood which covers the glans, and the shaft. Most women do not orgasm from penis-vagina sex alone, so please don't put pressure on yourself to do so.
For most women, orgasm results from a constant circular motion around the shaft and glans. Also important to know is that once a woman’s orgasm begins, if the stimulation is removed, the orgasm will end. Orgasm is characterized by a series of pleasurable, involuntary contractions in and around the vulva (clitoris, vagina and inner/outer lips). Most women have between 5 and 8 contractions per orgasm.
It takes time and practice to learn about your own orgasms before you share them with a partner, and it's important that you “own” your orgasm fully and not let someone else define how you should be responding. The best way to find out what you like is to experiment when you’re alone. Check out the area around your clitoris first. Be sure to use some lubrication and gently touch around the top and sides to find out what feels good. You may need to do this many times before you get comfortable and used to the intensity. Find the sensitive spots that feel good. The best part of this learning experience is that it’s fun!
Once you understand your own body’s responses, then you can begin to share them with a partner—even more fun! Be patient. It takes time to learn and to build up trust, but if you do this now, you’ll be setting yourself up for yummy sex for the rest of your life. I highly recommend the book, "For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality," by Lonnie Barbach. It's widely available in paperback, and is a step-by-step program for learning about your own sexual response. In addition, it contains lots of sharing by women about their own personal journeys of sexual self-discovery. I think it will help you immensely.
And one final word about orgasms: They last about 10 seconds, and yet we put so much value on them. Besides orgasm, there are lots of pleasurable things to enjoy during sex--whether it's with yourself or with a partner. So please don't focus solely on orgasm. If you put that kind of pressure on yourself, it becomes a "job" instead of fun. And sex can be lots of fun if you relax and enjoy all the sensations. Sex is a grand buffet of wonderful dishes. If you focus on only one, you'll miss out on all the other wonderful flavors. Good luck! Dr. J
Part of your problem is you're listening to men--most of whom know nothing about female sexuality. Listen to your body, and learn from yourself. You're in charge of your sexuality.
I'm so glad you asked about orgasms and your sexuality because the more knowledge you have, the happier your sex life will be.
First of all, there's no such thing as a "clitoral" orgasm or a “G spot” orgasm. An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. Most women orgasm only if the clitoris is stimulated--either directly or indirectly, whether during penis-vagina sex or not (although most women don’t orgasm during p-v sex).
And not every woman has a sensitive G Spot. Those that do, report that stimulating it brings them great pleasure as well as orgasm.
There are many women who don’t have a sensitive G Spot and others who don’t enjoy that kind of stimulation. It doesn't lead to orgasm magically in every woman. It isn't a magic button, but simply another part of your anatomy that may responsive to pleasure. In addition, stimulation of the G Spot may also lead to an orgasm in which some women release fluid from the urethra. But it’s important to remember that like many aspects of sexuality, there’s no “one-size-fits-all,” and everyone is different.
If you want to find out more about your G Spot, the best way is during self-pleasuring. Some women want to find their G Spot because they feel that if they do, they’ll have orgasms during p-v sex. Please don’t put that performance expectation on yourself, but rather enjoy your own unique sexuality, however you experience it.
Most of us learn about women’s orgasms from movies, TV and books. You know: the perfect, romantic, spontaneous, simultaneous, earth-moving Big O. We’re supposed to orgasm from 2 minutes of p-v sex in the missionary position in the dark with a partner who is clueless. So we put this pressure on ourselves and are mostly disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
Here’s the reality: In women, the clitoris must be stimulated—either directly or indirectly—in order for orgasm to happen. The clitoris is our primary sex organ--not the vagina--and consists of the glans (or head), the hood which covers the glans, and the shaft. Most women do not orgasm from penis-vagina sex alone, so please don't put pressure on yourself to do so.
For most women, orgasm results from a constant circular motion around the shaft and glans. Also important to know is that once a woman’s orgasm begins, if the stimulation is removed, the orgasm will end. Orgasm is characterized by a series of pleasurable, involuntary contractions in and around the vulva (clitoris, vagina and inner/outer lips). Most women have between 5 and 8 contractions per orgasm.
It takes time and practice to learn about your own orgasms before you share them with a partner, and it's important that you “own” your orgasm fully and not let someone else define how you should be responding. The best way to find out what you like is to experiment when you’re alone. Check out the area around your clitoris first. Be sure to use some lubrication and gently touch around the top and sides to find out what feels good. You may need to do this many times before you get comfortable and used to the intensity. Find the sensitive spots that feel good. The best part of this learning experience is that it’s fun!
Once you understand your own body’s responses, then you can begin to share them with a partner—even more fun! Be patient. It takes time to learn and to build up trust, but if you do this now, you’ll be setting yourself up for yummy sex for the rest of your life. I highly recommend the book, "For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality," by Lonnie Barbach. It's widely available in paperback, and is a step-by-step program for learning about your own sexual response. In addition, it contains lots of sharing by women about their own personal journeys of sexual self-discovery. I think it will help you immensely.
And one final word about orgasms: They last about 10 seconds, and yet we put so much value on them. Besides orgasm, there are lots of pleasurable things to enjoy during sex--whether it's with yourself or with a partner. So please don't focus solely on orgasm. If you put that kind of pressure on yourself, it becomes a "job" instead of fun. And sex can be lots of fun if you relax and enjoy all the sensations. Sex is a grand buffet of wonderful dishes. If you focus on only one, you'll miss out on all the other wonderful flavors. Good luck! Dr. J
i know what you mean men say that but i have always given orgasim to my women at least 3 orgasim in one time sex and the best part is my women gets orgasms with penis and vagina sex i dont touch clitor. I dont know it is my sex experties or my women type. my stamna of sex is one hour or 50 minutes. Best hint i know if i have to give someone is women on top position give most women orgasim. what is your partner sex stamna.? and what style you used ?
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