Aa
Masturbation
ok, im a 15 year old, boy. and i was told im a "Sex/Porn Addict" and that if i keep masturbating the way i do, i will get an ED. and wont be able to get an erection at ALL. my source told me that their brother in law became porn addicted when him and his wife were arguing, and now he cant get an erection at all. im completely worried. and i dont want that to happen to me. and im not sure if it is psycological that since i was told this, ive had few erections, and have been afraid to masturbate, and the few erections i have gotten havent seemed as hard and havent stayed for very long. also i researched that things such as masturbating too fast can lead to only being pleasured if my partner goes fast too. or else i will lose my erection. please help me!
Everything in moderation (as they say) it his only human and healthy to masterbate , but yes too much of anything will lead to a bad consequence. So just remember you want to please a lady dont waste it all on your " get a quick fix " cravings... slow it down...It will be well worth it!!! Go get some help if it is that bad people specialize in that stuff>>>.good luck
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.
Take a deep breath and stop worrying. You've been fed a lot of misinformation, and it's obviously making you anxious and worried--both of which will affect your sexuality.
Almost everyone feels insecure about masturbation—or self-pleasuring. One of the reasons we’re so uncomfortable with it is because we don’t receive any accurate information, but rather grow up hearing lots of myths which are not supported by factual data. We all want to know that what WE do is OK. From your note, it looks like you feel that it’s somehow harmful or wrong. It sounds like you’re worried that self-pleasuring is some kind of “condition” or illness. Not true. And please stop worrying about some sort of "addiction." This is simply a concept that many misinformed people have latched onto in order to pass judgment about something that makes them uncomfortable.
Self-pleasuring doesn’t affect your body in any negative way. What it CAN do, like any strenuous exercise, is either energize you or make you feel tired. Exercise affects everyone different, so it’s possible that after an orgasm, you feel tired, the same way as after a brisk work-out. And you know that later, you’ll regain your energy. The difference here is that no one has told you that working out is going to affect you permanently, so you haven’t begun to worry and stress about exercise the way you’re worrying and stressing about self-pleasuring.
Let’s talk about what we DO know about self-pleasuring.
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. So please stop torturing yourself, accept your sexuality as a gift and start enjoying life.
About your erection concerns: Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to let go of such a narrow definition of what constitutes “good.” Some men find that keeping up the same amount of self-pleasuring as well as partner sex can be a bit tiring. If you want to build up sexual tension so that you’re really turned on with your partner, you may want to experiment with how frequent you self-pleasure. Remember that everyone is different, and whatever works for you is what works for you. There’s no magic “formula” here.
Much of your problem is due to your attitude. Once you experienced anything less than the kind of erections you used to have, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
Your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way. For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Take a deep breath and stop worrying. You've been fed a lot of misinformation, and it's obviously making you anxious and worried--both of which will affect your sexuality.
Almost everyone feels insecure about masturbation—or self-pleasuring. One of the reasons we’re so uncomfortable with it is because we don’t receive any accurate information, but rather grow up hearing lots of myths which are not supported by factual data. We all want to know that what WE do is OK. From your note, it looks like you feel that it’s somehow harmful or wrong. It sounds like you’re worried that self-pleasuring is some kind of “condition” or illness. Not true. And please stop worrying about some sort of "addiction." This is simply a concept that many misinformed people have latched onto in order to pass judgment about something that makes them uncomfortable.
Self-pleasuring doesn’t affect your body in any negative way. What it CAN do, like any strenuous exercise, is either energize you or make you feel tired. Exercise affects everyone different, so it’s possible that after an orgasm, you feel tired, the same way as after a brisk work-out. And you know that later, you’ll regain your energy. The difference here is that no one has told you that working out is going to affect you permanently, so you haven’t begun to worry and stress about exercise the way you’re worrying and stressing about self-pleasuring.
Let’s talk about what we DO know about self-pleasuring.
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. So please stop torturing yourself, accept your sexuality as a gift and start enjoying life.
About your erection concerns: Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to let go of such a narrow definition of what constitutes “good.” Some men find that keeping up the same amount of self-pleasuring as well as partner sex can be a bit tiring. If you want to build up sexual tension so that you’re really turned on with your partner, you may want to experiment with how frequent you self-pleasure. Remember that everyone is different, and whatever works for you is what works for you. There’s no magic “formula” here.
Much of your problem is due to your attitude. Once you experienced anything less than the kind of erections you used to have, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
Your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way. For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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