My Boyfriend Can't Orgasm

[SadGirlPleaseHelp]

I've never participated in a forum discussion before, but I really need advice.  My boyfriend is 26 years old. We've been together 2 years and have always had great, amazing sex.  About a year ago, he injured his back at work and now has both a ruptured and herniated disc.  He is in constant pain and is prescribed numerous narcotics (such as vicodin, embeda, xanax, etc) from his surgeon and doctors to control the pain.  We do not have a problem becoming aroused by each other, and he has no problem staying hard, however, even after hours he cannot orgasm.  I have no problem and orgasm multiple times.  It's very frustrating and upsetting for the both of us.  I feel like it's my fault, like I'm not attractive enough or tight enough or anything enough.  We've tried regular sex, oral and anal and he still can't get off. I feel so guilty and depressed about it.  Do the drugs have a lot to do with it? Or is it me? Somebody, anybody- PLEASE give me advice.  I've even tried losing weight, wearing lingerie, etc to seem more attractive.  Also, after we do have sex, and he doesn't get anything out of it, his back kills him.  What do I do??? I'm so upset about it and it is beginning to affect our relationship in a very negative way.
I'm begging- please. ANYBODY out there!! Is there any way I can help him or anything I can do?

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hello.

Short answer: No. It has nothing to do with you.

The man is in pain and is taking very strong medications, any one of which can interfere with orgasm. So please stop making this about you and realize that your worries are probably contributing even more to his pain. If he feels he's frustrating you, he will feel even worse. Now is the time for understanding and patience.

Some questions he might ask his physician are: Are there any alternative pain medications which won't interfere with orgasm and how long will he need to be taking medication. Best of luck to you. Dr. J

[Beccabb]

Does it Hurt during sex? I'm sure that could dampen the mood for him? The thought of his back hurting after might turn him off a bit also,  I think it if was anything to do with you physically or mentally he would probably have trouble staying hard.

My bf had the same problem at the beginning of rthe year, but he was involved in a car crash and so much was going through his head that he couldn't c*m either. I know it's a different situation   Try pleasuring him first ways that doesn't involve much movement on his part at first like a handjob or ******* n once he's finished then you sort your self out afterwards lol