help me please as soon as possible

[teena381]

I have had sex with my bf many times. The fact that I already had sex with my ex-bf really worries me and i think after marriage my partner would know that I'm not virgin.Thats because i think that after sex the ****** becomes loose. d
Do you think my husband will consider that I have already done it when we will do it on the first night? Or do you think he wont know? PLEASE PLEASE TELL!!!  and please tell me how to make my virginahole tight and small please asnwer me soon plzzzzzzz

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Whoa! Have you got a lot to learn! Let’s start by correcting some of this misinformation.

First, it seems you believe that once you’ve had penis-vagina sex (p-v), your vagina somehow becomes loose. This is untrue. Unless you’ve experienced some sort of physical trauma, your vagina is probably about the same size it was before you had p-v. Please note that there is no way to make it tighter. There IS a very important muscle that runs along the vagina, called the PC muscle. This is the muscle around the entrance to your vagina. It’s also related to the strength of your orgasmic contractions, so if it’s weak or flabby, your orgasms will be weak and flabby too. To strengthen your PC muscle, do Kegel exercises (named for the physician who discovered this clever little muscle). Luckily, the PC muscle also stops and starts the flow of urine, so it’s easy to locate. Just contract it as though you’re trying to hold back the flow of urine. Got it? Now begin a daily regimen of contracting and relaxing the muscle. It helps to associate it with something you do each day—like taking a shower.

I don’t know your age, but it seems to me that you are very young and naïve, and you lack sexual knowledge. If you’re being sexual with another person, it’s time to take responsibility to learn about your body and its responses. Here’s a very helpful website that has lots of information for you. I recommend it highly: www.scarleteen.com. Best of luck to you. Dr. J

[teena381]

Thank you so much for helping me but im 21 yrs old im getting married in june plz suggest me something by which my husband should not now tht i was not virgin befor marrage he must now tht im virgin help me again  thankz  

[johnny89]

listen i have this problem right now with my girl friend. she is teared up with the fact that she ain't a virgin no more. at first i did not care. now is driving me crazy. because is their something magical that's suppose to happen when a girl looses her virginity. look basically to me it was not a problem in fact I was a virgin and she had been with 5 guys before. For some reason I felt like the luckiest guy alive that night. At the end it those not matter if your a virgin or not is just how special it is that night. SSSOOOOOOO PPPPLLLLLEEAASSSSSEEEEE quit it with the whole being virgin thing.
I'm begging all the women in this planet. I'm still going to propose to my girl

[whoever000]

or just say to your husband that when you were young you had a gynecological problem (make up an illnes) and that the doctors had to put their fingers in your vagina( or that they had to put other things too) and that's how your hymen was cut.. and that's why you don't bleed
act like you are the victim.. how painful was it for you when the doctors did that, how scared you are now that it will hurt you like that :p.... u know use your imagination u are a girl and we girls can rule the world! you just have to be strong and i wish u luck :D

[whoever000]

hmm I've thought about that many times, and something came to my mind! I don't know how long your period lasts but you can have sex with your husband when you'll have your period.for example the last day when you don't bleed much, and he'll think that you are bleeding because you are a virgin.but ofc you will have to be very careful
or just make him drink make him drunk and he wont notice anything.
I'm still young and if i have sex before i get married and if my husband ''wants'' me to be a virgin I'll do something like this

[savingmylife]

Is there some religious reason that you have to be a virgin before marriage.  I think most people would agree with me that in modern society, like over the last 20-30 years it's become very rare for a man or woman to be a virgin on marriage.  It is pretty much just normal now that people will have already had sex before marriage or sex with men other than the man they are going to marry.  I would have to say, even though I am religious, Anglican, that I had sex with about 10 men before my now husband, & my husband & I had sex before marriage.  I have many female & male friends, & I only have one of like 200 or more who believes in no sex before marriage & coz that she can't find herself a boyfriend coz every guy she ever meets doesn't believe in NOT having sex before marriage (nor do I know of a guy who doesn't want sex before marrige - they all want it ASAP) & many of my friends are practicing Catholics by the way where all their church priests or their seniors tell them "sex before marriage is evil" - they dont take any notice of this because it's not evil & seeing as you've had sex before you can't think it is either.  So I don't really know anyone who hasn't had sex before marriage & NO I don't have rebel friend or anything, I have well educated friends.  So why is it sooo important for you & why does your husband think it's so important.  

Is he also a virgin???? If SO - how will he know exactly what a vagina should look like  - as in how would he be able to tell if you're a virgin or not?????? The only way I can think he might be able to tell is if he has had sex before, in which case why should it be fair that he is allowed not to be a virgin but that he expects you have to?? Surely he trusts what you've told him - obviously you've told him you're a virgin - & that he's not about to go searching out way of telling if you are or not so he can conduct an examination on your wedding night.  Besides, if he wants proof the wedding night is too late to conduct the examination as he will already have married you & if he doesn't believe in sex before marriage he probably doesn't really belief in divorce?????  So basically - unless he's studied female anatomy extensively & conducts a vagina examination (which shows immediate distrust in you as his new wife) he will NOT know you're not a virgin!  

You know - one of the biggest factors in a successful marriage is a successful sex life???  AND not all couples, no matter how much they think they love each other are compatible at sex.  That is just fact, I've loved guys but our sex life has just been bad, we didn't click & it's lead to a bad relationship that eventually ended as guys want their sex life to be good & well so should us girls.  What will you do if you find he's not compatible with you sexually, it may ruin your relationship??? If you leave sex til after marriage then it's too late to find out.  I hope this won't be the case for you both.

The Doc's right- you cannot make your vaginal muscles tighter & also sex doesn't stretch your vagina.  So he won't know so stop stressing.   If it's such a problem though, harsh as it is, are you sure he's the right guy for you & all?  WIth such different beliefs about morals etc..... Will these belief clashes continue in your marriage & undermine it?????

I hope this helps & doesn't sound like I"m being too judgmental.  After all like yourself I also had sex before marriage.