Aa
H-OCD?
Hi,
I'm a 21 year old male, I've had sex with 3 girls since the age of 18 (not frequently so I'm not very experienced). I am a Christian, which I know contradicts my sexual behaviors, and even more so as I explain my problem, and it's not something I am proud of but it's something I want to fix. I appear to have a high sexual drive, I haven't really ever had a long term relationship and I can count the amounts of times I've had sex on one hand.
I'm not completely sure where my high sex drive comes from, but I find myself masturbating quite often. I do seldom bring up porn on my laptop too. My problem is this: I am totally not attracted to men - I don't walk down the street thinking how hot some guy looks. I'm just not mentally or physically attracted in that sense at all - I'm certain I'm straight because of that. Lately though, whilst looking at porn or whatever I have wondered what it would be like to perform oral sex on a man - and the thought of it seemed to arouse me. Also, since this clearly conflicts with my whole belief system, lifestyle and sexual preferences, I'm a little confused as to what's happening.
I initially thought I could be experiencing some sort of sexual identity crisis; however after some research I became familiar with the term H-OCD (Homosexual OCD). I understand the differences between H-OCD and being gay, however I'm unsure where I would stand simply because there's a clear contradiction going on here - that giving oral sex seems to arouse me. That said though, I doubt I would nor could ever do it "in real life" - so I wonder if it's just an odd sexual fantasy I have - or whether I do have an issue where obtrusive unwanted (or not if they "turn me on") thoughts?
It's quite concerning since I don't want to be gay. Just to add, it also only seems to arise when I'm really "horny" for want of a better word.
Thanks,
-refuso
I'm a 21 year old male, I've had sex with 3 girls since the age of 18 (not frequently so I'm not very experienced). I am a Christian, which I know contradicts my sexual behaviors, and even more so as I explain my problem, and it's not something I am proud of but it's something I want to fix. I appear to have a high sexual drive, I haven't really ever had a long term relationship and I can count the amounts of times I've had sex on one hand.
I'm not completely sure where my high sex drive comes from, but I find myself masturbating quite often. I do seldom bring up porn on my laptop too. My problem is this: I am totally not attracted to men - I don't walk down the street thinking how hot some guy looks. I'm just not mentally or physically attracted in that sense at all - I'm certain I'm straight because of that. Lately though, whilst looking at porn or whatever I have wondered what it would be like to perform oral sex on a man - and the thought of it seemed to arouse me. Also, since this clearly conflicts with my whole belief system, lifestyle and sexual preferences, I'm a little confused as to what's happening.
I initially thought I could be experiencing some sort of sexual identity crisis; however after some research I became familiar with the term H-OCD (Homosexual OCD). I understand the differences between H-OCD and being gay, however I'm unsure where I would stand simply because there's a clear contradiction going on here - that giving oral sex seems to arouse me. That said though, I doubt I would nor could ever do it "in real life" - so I wonder if it's just an odd sexual fantasy I have - or whether I do have an issue where obtrusive unwanted (or not if they "turn me on") thoughts?
It's quite concerning since I don't want to be gay. Just to add, it also only seems to arise when I'm really "horny" for want of a better word.
Thanks,
-refuso
God gave us food and sex to enjoy. thoughts are normal and healthy linked to a healthy sex drive. be happy healthy. no shame, no guilt no toxic thoughts for you.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi there.
Sounds to me like you’ve discovered a hot fantasy. The fantasies that turn us on the most are often the ones that are most forbidden. For instance, it’s quite common for Lesbians to be very turned on by the fantasy of having sex with a man. This doesn’t mean they actually want to have sex with one—but since it’s forbidden, it’s quite hot.
The more you worry about this and the more taboo it is, the more arousing it may be for you. But relax. It probably means nothing. You’ve just discovered some same-sex feelings that are very common. Most people have the potential to be turned on by both sexes, given the right situation—especially in fantasy.
And please don't apologize for your interest in and desire of, sex. Sex is a pleasurable part of life, and being interested in it is quite common. It means you're alive and healthy and your body is functioning.
If you are romantically inclined towards women, that’s probably going to be your focus. However, it’s not unusual for a man who loves women to also enjoy playing with other men, or to fantasize about it. Regarding sexual orientation, sexological research has discovered that many people are very fluid in their sexuality: in fact, people all over the map: exploring same-sex fantasies one day, falling in love with the other sex the next—and every other variation you can think of. Yet so many of us think we have to label ourselves and put ourselves in the “straight” or “Gay” or “Bi” box. Why not just be who you are? I know it can complicate potential relationships, but aren’t we more than just what we do with our crotch?
I also note that your sexuality makes you uncomfortable because you feel somehow your religion says it’s not OK. There are several excellent scholarly books about this subject that may comfort and enlighten you. I recommend “Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality,” by John Boswell. You can also Google Dr. Boswell and read some of his essays online. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Sounds to me like you’ve discovered a hot fantasy. The fantasies that turn us on the most are often the ones that are most forbidden. For instance, it’s quite common for Lesbians to be very turned on by the fantasy of having sex with a man. This doesn’t mean they actually want to have sex with one—but since it’s forbidden, it’s quite hot.
The more you worry about this and the more taboo it is, the more arousing it may be for you. But relax. It probably means nothing. You’ve just discovered some same-sex feelings that are very common. Most people have the potential to be turned on by both sexes, given the right situation—especially in fantasy.
And please don't apologize for your interest in and desire of, sex. Sex is a pleasurable part of life, and being interested in it is quite common. It means you're alive and healthy and your body is functioning.
If you are romantically inclined towards women, that’s probably going to be your focus. However, it’s not unusual for a man who loves women to also enjoy playing with other men, or to fantasize about it. Regarding sexual orientation, sexological research has discovered that many people are very fluid in their sexuality: in fact, people all over the map: exploring same-sex fantasies one day, falling in love with the other sex the next—and every other variation you can think of. Yet so many of us think we have to label ourselves and put ourselves in the “straight” or “Gay” or “Bi” box. Why not just be who you are? I know it can complicate potential relationships, but aren’t we more than just what we do with our crotch?
I also note that your sexuality makes you uncomfortable because you feel somehow your religion says it’s not OK. There are several excellent scholarly books about this subject that may comfort and enlighten you. I recommend “Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality,” by John Boswell. You can also Google Dr. Boswell and read some of his essays online. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You are reading content posted in the Sexuality & Relationships Forum
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
