Aa
Something stops me from having sex
I am a 26 year old woman. I was married 21/2 years back. I chose to be a virgin till i got married. My husband is amazing. We are in a great relationship. He always initiates sex, and most of the times i wont feel like it. I dont know why. I feel bad to turn him down so many times. For the past 3 months, i moved away from him for work. We meet only once a month. I thought this would help, coz i would be more wanting to have it as i get just one weekend in one month. But that has not changed at all. We do not have relationship problems or worries. That's why i do not understand why i dont want to have sex with him. When i am away, i dream of having sex with him, but when he is next to me, i just dont want to do it. I wonder why.... Is there anything wrong in me? I dont know... Can anyone help me with this? Since my husband is so loving, i want to give him the best. I feel guilty of what i am doing.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.
You're asking an impossible question. No one but YOU knows why you're avoiding sex with your husband. All I can do is list for you the many possible issues that others have found interfered with their sexual desire.
If you’re not interested in sex, you might be going through a period when other things have a priority in your life.
If you’re interested in sex, but feel no desire to actually be sexual—whether with yourself or others—then perhaps you haven’t come across anything that turns you on at this point in your life. That’s understandable too. We often go through periods where our desires may take a break. Or maybe your tastes are changing. This might be a good time to investigate some new things that might turn you on. Try looking at some erotica for fantasy material and see if anything appeals to you.
And, of course, other factors can influence desire. You might also examine what else has been happening in your life that may have affected you. Are you content with yourself, with your life, with your relationships? Are there any family or work crises? And how’s your physical health? There are numerous medical conditions that can also contribute to lack of desire.
Do you have any sense of what is bothering you? What are you thinking about during sex? What are the conditions like when you’re being sexual? Do you have enough privacy? Are you both relaxed and happy? If not, these can contribute to your discomfort.
There are various other possible psychological/emotional factors too numerous to detail here. These include fear of intimacy, fear of men or negative feelings about them, unresolved anger, feeling conflicted about marriage, etc. And don’t forget trust. Trust can be a HUGE issue for women in sexual relationships. If, for some reason, you feel you can’t trust your husband, then you won’t allow yourself to be vulnerable around him—and that includes sex.
You may have negative attitudes about sex in general or you may have conflicts about marriage or men in general. Either way, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of trying too hard, which, in turn, just leads to more stress and anxiety. And you know what? It’s not that uncommon, and it’s not that hard to change. Take a deep breath, relax and examine these issues and see if any fit for you. Something is getting in the way of your pleasure, and you’ll need to do some serious thinking to figure out what it is.
In any new relationship, it takes time to relax with each other and learn about your body and its responses. But anything worthwhile takes a little time and practice, no? If you talk with your husband and tell him you’d like to slow down and learn about each others’ bodies and responses, together, you two can discover just what it is that arouses you. You have a chance to take a wonderful journey of discovery with each other which can not only be educational but lots of fun. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You're asking an impossible question. No one but YOU knows why you're avoiding sex with your husband. All I can do is list for you the many possible issues that others have found interfered with their sexual desire.
If you’re not interested in sex, you might be going through a period when other things have a priority in your life.
If you’re interested in sex, but feel no desire to actually be sexual—whether with yourself or others—then perhaps you haven’t come across anything that turns you on at this point in your life. That’s understandable too. We often go through periods where our desires may take a break. Or maybe your tastes are changing. This might be a good time to investigate some new things that might turn you on. Try looking at some erotica for fantasy material and see if anything appeals to you.
And, of course, other factors can influence desire. You might also examine what else has been happening in your life that may have affected you. Are you content with yourself, with your life, with your relationships? Are there any family or work crises? And how’s your physical health? There are numerous medical conditions that can also contribute to lack of desire.
Do you have any sense of what is bothering you? What are you thinking about during sex? What are the conditions like when you’re being sexual? Do you have enough privacy? Are you both relaxed and happy? If not, these can contribute to your discomfort.
There are various other possible psychological/emotional factors too numerous to detail here. These include fear of intimacy, fear of men or negative feelings about them, unresolved anger, feeling conflicted about marriage, etc. And don’t forget trust. Trust can be a HUGE issue for women in sexual relationships. If, for some reason, you feel you can’t trust your husband, then you won’t allow yourself to be vulnerable around him—and that includes sex.
You may have negative attitudes about sex in general or you may have conflicts about marriage or men in general. Either way, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of trying too hard, which, in turn, just leads to more stress and anxiety. And you know what? It’s not that uncommon, and it’s not that hard to change. Take a deep breath, relax and examine these issues and see if any fit for you. Something is getting in the way of your pleasure, and you’ll need to do some serious thinking to figure out what it is.
In any new relationship, it takes time to relax with each other and learn about your body and its responses. But anything worthwhile takes a little time and practice, no? If you talk with your husband and tell him you’d like to slow down and learn about each others’ bodies and responses, together, you two can discover just what it is that arouses you. You have a chance to take a wonderful journey of discovery with each other which can not only be educational but lots of fun. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Maybe u just get bored. i know when i feel like that with my husband here and there i try to do something NEW. or somethere else other then the boring old bed. do alittle role playing thats aways interesting to see how the other person acts. plan it in your head. Men dont like to know when they are going to have sex ahead of time. go to dinner have something to drink FLIRT. i know it sounds like im answering a question to "how to get my huband to touch me" but you yourself need to feel sexy to have sex. but when a man sees that your shinning and wanting the sex with be great. it has nothing to do with him moving in. its most likly you. your letting him see all of you when u first wake up hair all messy ect. and most likly doing things that you keep on the downlow.
Your most likly dreaming of sex cause ur not having any. All WOMEN need to be able to sex them selfs up. do alittle exploring. moving away in not an answer u need to stay by your husband side. Your husband must be thinking he's awful or something. maybe he is (sex wise). thats why u need to explore alittle. once you know what u want from sex then u can guide him. sex is very important in marrige. for the time being maybe u should just get it over with under the sheets. and when in the shower/ alone find whats best for u. you need to ask yourself does it hurt? whats ur first thought when u see him naked. how do u feel naked? ive been married for little less then a year. and my husband decided not to work out anymore. so his sexness is slipping and i dont like this body lol but SEX IS THE BEST THING FOR A MARRAGE. no one can stay together with a sexless bedroom.
Hello!! I am a 37 year old woman who was married and has been divorced for the last 5 years while I was married I didn't have any interest in sex either. Since then I have gotten into another relationship and when we were dating and not living together our sex was wonderful. But since we started living together there is no interest for me once again. Am I crazy or does anyone have any advice!!!
Your problem is interesting when he is not with you then you dream sex with him and when your husband with you don't want in my advice don't think about sex when he is not with you but when you think you are with your husband just think first romance then come to next step .......
Keep smile it's little problem :)
Keep smile it's little problem :)
did you have orgasm?
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