he doesnt enjoy sex he would rather masterbate ??

[fluffysnuggles]

My question ....My boyfriend doesn't like the act of having sex or oral sex , he will do it only when i feel i have to have it almost like pity sex ..he masterbates daily sometimes 3 times a day but when it comes to sex he doesnt like it ,excuses are "it's too slow " I just don't like it" "I dont see the point " "it's takes too much time " "i'd rahter do it myself " i am the only person he has ever had sex with he was a virgin when we met and we have had sex 7-8 times but he only does it for me ..how can i get him to enjoy sex with me and be intmate with me instead of using porn pictures and videos .he is very caring and loving and will please me whenever i want it but when comes to him he wants to be alone and won't even let me be apart of it. I just don't know what to do to help..

[someguy248]

Maybe he's not looking at the girl... can he only get off on porn with a guy in it?
I'm sorry but I just want to smack this lazy sack of **** for saying it takes too long..

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hello.

First, it's clear that your bf DOES enjoy sex--just not with you--or perhaps not with anyone.

Let's look at what he's told you.

1. "I don't see the point," "it takes too much time," etc.
2. He's looking for excuses not to.
3. He'd rather be alone than to be with you.
4. In other words, he has way more problems than just not having sex with you.

Your partner is very clearly telling you that he's not turned on to you--or possibly to anyone--and that he'd rather hide from problems via fantasy (very common) and that he has many intimacy issues--none of which you can solve.

Sit down with yourself and imagine being with this man 30 years from now. What do you see?

Your first step is to talk with him about your feelings and get past his excuses. If you can get him to open up and trust you, he may be able to express himself more honestly.

It might help you to see a counselor in order to gain some insight and make some decisions about where you want to go from here. If the two of you truly love each other and want to stay together, the two of you should see someone skilled in helping people communicate about sex. Best of luck to you. Dr. J

[Bodyindistress]

There is nothing wrong with you. Look into porn addiction, he may Also just have self confident issues but don't pressure him at all let him know and teach him how to explore his sex drive
p.s I liked porn till I found out it might ruin my reltionship with my gf now she Is my wife lol

[Blue08]

thats how the mens are.  there is nothing wrong with you. But when it comes to porn men tend to do that.