what should/must I do

[echo200775]

I am Canadian. I had unprotected sex with a prostitute 2.5 years ago. I did not ejaculate inside her or even get close, I ejaculated by masturbating myself after intercourse. I am deeply ashamed of how I behaved at that time in my life - I was not well but have done much to turn my life around. I can't change the past but I am doing all I can to be accountable and make amends. My fear is this: just what if she got pregnant? I have no idea what to do. would I have been contacted? I brought her back to the place I was staying but otherwise she would have no way to contact me. I must admit I have obsessive compulsive disorder and this could be the biggest problem. I don't know who to contact and I just want to do the responsible thing. I never heard anything after the event and I had (foolishly) unprotected sex before and after without ever ejaculating and nothing ever happened. I no longer even live in the same city. Is there anythign I can or should do. Thank you.

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

As you no doubt know, your fear is part of your compulsiveness... you can't let go of this thought and it is going around and around in your brain. I will assume you have had some therapy to help you stop the thought and get on to more productive topics. No, you could not have made her pregnant, no, it is unlikely she would trace you down- and if she did, you could have a blood test to prove you are not involved with the pregnancy, What you do have to do is be disciplined about condoms, and even better, find a girlfriend or a significant person to make love with, so that trust and communication can be part of your sexual life.  In the meantime, trust me, you are not in danger of impregnating her-- but of course you could pick up some sexually transmitted infections from skin to skin contact. So go get checked- and then get this off your mind.
Pepper Schwartz, PhD.

[Princess850]

what should i do before i have sex
i'm still a virgin and when i do it for the first time i dont
what it to seem like i dont know what to do

[itchygirl490]

even if she did get pregnant, she would have 100 people to choose from. She probably doesn't even remember you. Don't worry anymore, put it to rest.  We're talking about a prostitute here.  No attachments!   obviously no sperm got passed, just be thankful you didn't get a std or hiv.  repent, learn, and move on!  Don't dwell on past mistakes, we all have them.  LEARN FROM THEM!

[surfgirl709]

****** don't get pregnant.

[woozy]

You can stop worrying. I highly doubt she got pregnant. The chance is incredibly small. And if she had become pregnant, she would most likely have had an abortion given her line of work. I would be more concerned with your health. Get tested for HIV and all the other STDs if you haven't already. Chances are you are fine, but best to be on the safe side. I had unprotected sex w/an ex for 3 years where he didn't ejaculate in me. I never got pregnant or even suspected I could have been.