Exercising my custodial rights?

[misslysslynn]

right now my children are with their dad, and when there with their dad they spend 95% of the time at their grandma's. including one  30 year old looser uncle lives there and has always been oddly obsessed with my son, another uncle and his wife(their auntie) and 3 cousins.
this week he calls me which is unusual and says something has been going on.
what was said was apparently a couple months ago her grandma noticed her privates were a little red,so she seen a pediatrician and the dr said she didn't have a uti, to make sure she rinsed really well and no soap was left behind and clean panties...when they got home my daughter told her father that her 10 year old make cousin had been touching her down there for quite awhile.
he asked her brother who is 8 if he knew about this and he said yes .
since this situation my son has spent all week at his grandmas where the cousin accused lives (the 10yr old, a 8yr old and 5yr old).
my daughter told me she's not aloud to her go to her grandmas if her cousins are there and her brother told me if she goes there he'' have to beat the cousin up. i haven't brought the situation up to my kids in anyway.  and the mother of the boy( my ex sister in law) didn't say anything about this to me, and even after asking she hasnt gotten back to me. the father hasn't mentioned it again not at all.
on  Dec 6th 2016 my house caught on fire and my kids and i woke up to it at 3am,my ex drove 4 hours,went to my children school withdrew them without anyone ever calling t0 notify me, went to red cross to get $250 they give victims who lost everything in a fire , drove back and then called me.
his only reason was because i didn't have a job to support them and am on calworks and he has to pay a measly $75 to child support.
i already tried going to the police station where he lives to help in a child exchange and couldn't be assisted.
he's been in contempt of court for almost 2years by refusing to give me his home address and recently moved to a new address and still refuses.
while my son is at his grandparent through the school week he doesn't allow them to talk to me , and i have no idea why.
I'm going to the court house tomorrow to pay for an ex party hearing requesting an law enforcement be forced to assist me getting my kids from him. I'm the custodial parent and he is interfering with my parental rights.
am i doing the right thing?

[UnsureMS]

Sweetie,

I think you have been more then kind. When it comes to your kids and situations like what your daughter has been a part of, and what your son has seen. Believe me it wouldn't have waited until now for me to go to the court system. I would have been talking to my kids right away to find out what all exactly took place and would have had a long talk with their father a long time ago. To me it sounds like the children are being put in harms way when at their grandparents. In addition if the cousins are acting out in this way are the cousins being abused would be on my mind for sure.

Why would the police not get involved do you have the court orders to prove you have rights to see your children? This situation the kids are in to me doesn't seem safe. I would be all over this and trying my hardest to do all I can to get them out of the home they are in. Dont be scared to talk to your kids when things like you explained come up. It is better to ask them questions and speak to them about it, then to not know the details and find out later there was alot worse going on then what you have heard. Your kids need to come first and you need to ensure they are safe. Kids at a young age can sometimes hid the details of abuse because they are scared of causing problems, or scared of what will happen to someone they love.

I will be praying for you and your kids. I hope that it wasnt anything more then what was told to you, but I would be truly concern for my kids if I was in this situation. May God be with you and them.

[DaddyDad2]

The only reason I can think the police did not get involved is to make the county more money by forcing the parent to get the other parent back in court.  I went through this when the noncustodial parent kidnapped our daughter.  I took the papers to the sheriff's office and they would not return my daughter.  All they have to do is follow the current order.  When they refuse, it just allows for the manipulation of the system which makes it money.  That's what its all about apparently.  

[Sara_MHModerator]

Hello DaddyDad, that's really unfortunate.  I hope that you've been reunited with your daughter as this sounds like a difficult and painful situation for you and her both.  We wish you the best.