Stuck and need advice

[carlie78]

I'm not sure which forum this should be in.

I have a 7 year old daughter.  Her dad left when she was 3 but was still in her life.  He had been in and out of jail and prison and on and off herion. I knew better but for my daughter's sake, I would let them see each other but only while I was there.  More recently,  the last time we heard from him was March 2015 and he owes 15k in child support.  I just found out that he went back to prison in September and will be released and of paper/ terminated.  He is also expecting a baby with his girlfriend in a different state.  So here's where I'm stuck. ...I have an attorney and prepared to have him sign over his rights( he did the same thing with his first kid,  history has repeated itself). Today my daughter asked to write him a letter and if I would mail it to him.  She did and I breaks my heart.  She told him to come be a dad.  Should I mail it or hold onto it or what?
Thanks in advance

[AnnieBrooke]

Would he be swayed by what she wrote?  Will he change his ways because of the moving plea in her letter?  Or even if not, would he be able and willing to write her a letter explaining that he is not going to be a good enough dad to her, to be around?  (That would actually help her better than him just signing the papers and walking off.)  If so, mail it.  But only mail it if YOU think it would be a super good thing for him to be in her life (in the unlikely chance her letter works).  The main value of the letter is that it made her feel better to write it.  If you are sure it will only cause her heartache in the long run if he is around, a drug user who has a flaky record of parenthood and a new baby with someone else on the way, don't mail it.

[Avalau]

Hi , i have a similar situation. I am single parent since my daughter was a year old . She is 7 now and have worked really hard in regard to making sure that she continues to have some contact with her father who also has a heroin addiction . I have chosen not to have the court system involved concerning any sort of child support or court order visitation. When there is a visit by her father it is at my house with my supervision . The visits are few and far between with as long as 4 month long period of time that he has not had contact with her . ( he has been told 100 times that he can see her whenever he wants just call me ) she loves her daddy and I can respect that and she should. I also do not lie to her concerning her father's illness . I explain to her the best way I can for a 7 year old to understand. I want her to know exactly what an addict looks like and what lifestyle they choose hoping to break the cycle. He and I get along just fine . I am a recovering opiate addict and 100% understand this addiction and it's our evil and it was the hardest thing I ever did in becoming clean.  So yes send letter and as your child's mother I think u should do whatever it takes to insure whatever healthy contact u can provide for ur child . Honestly it's really hard to have to deal with the father but I am telling u it's best for the child . I wish u luck and frankly we chose these idiots so now we have to deal with them because it is our motherly obligation