Well I've never been able to get to sleep easily. Its always took my an hour atleast of lying there trying to clear my mind and drift off, and most of the time it's much more. And also, like many children, when sleeping out it came for the games to end and go to sleep Id start freaking out as my friends would be asleep in minutes and I'd be on my own lying there. Then I would be nervous and start feeling ill and ask to go home.
I am 14 now and over the last year or so this had gradually escalated.
The last sleepover I was invited to (which was just after xmas as I avoid them now) I burst into tears and felt ill and was really scared. Luckily I was wat my really close friends house so she and her mum was really supportive and helped me get through the night. I did it but I panicked so much and was obviously really embarassed.
I want this to stop as I'm a teen and part of teen life is to go out to sleepovers and have slumber parties yet I freak out about getting to sleep so much that I've missed out on so much as I refuse to put myself through that stress and panick.
Yet theres another problem.
In the last couple of months this has begun at home. All day all I can think about is will I be able to get to sleep tonight? What if I get ill because I can't get to sleep and I'm ill all night alone and I just can't sleep. It really scares me.
I now refuse to go to bed if I havent eaten in the last hour incase I feel sick from hunger and can't sleep, whitout a hot water bottle incase I get a bad belly and can't sleep and a sick bowl nearby incase I feel sick and can't get to sleep.
I would love to go to bed and just read a book or watch a movie yet I'm so panicky about if I can get to sleep ornot that I just try to get it over and done with yet I still find myself lying there an hour later still awake.
Don't tell me to just relax and don't think about it, I've tried it and it doesn't work because I just can't do it. I'm quite a hyped up optimistic person that always find something exciting out of anything so I can never really totally relax without opening my eyes now and then or something.
Esspecially this last week I've tried relaxing myself and that and I was getting a little better yet the other night I was awoken at 1 with pains in my belly and I was up for over and hour ill trying to get to sleep and its freaked me out again.
So I did some research and found somniphobia (hypnophobia) and I can relate entirely to people that suffer from it, yet I am not sure whether I have this as some say its a fear of sleep which I dont have, I have a fear of that space of time of trying to get to sleep. I actually like sleep as my dreams are so exciting and vivid even though if I did have a choice I would avoid sleep altogether.
I also looked at the side effects of somnophobia and I have them all (apart from irregular heartbeat as I am not sure how to check that myself).
So please, I am begging you, help me. It's effecting my whole life. I've read things of people that have suffered this for 40 years and I don't want that to happen! Is this somniphobia and if not what is it? How do I stop it? Should I seek someone perfessional to speak to?
thankyou for any answers! much appreciated.