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My 11 year old, problem sleeping away from home or mother

My 11 year old started not to be able sleep away from home (mum) since begining of grade 4, nearly 1,5 years ago. Now in few days all of her class going to a camp she wont be able to go with her friends. She doent know herself why she cant sleep away from me( her mum). We, my husband and I have been having trouble in our marriage like arguments at home, I wonder could this be the reason . Because she was ok to sleep away when she was younger, the problem started only last year and a half. Time to time we try for her to sleep in her very close friends houses but she always calls me around late night to go fetch her and I do.    
In addition she is very popular in her class, extremely acedemic, sporty and musical. This is the only problem she has but will affect her alot because she will miss out the fun and her friends mostly know why she wont be going with them. Please advise
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Avatar universal
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello and hope you are doing well.

Understand your predicament.
But try to wean her gently. Try to wean her away from you at home first and then try elsewhere. Start with a few hours and build it up. Have an open discussion with your child and help her with any issues that might be troubling her. Many times parents tend to get stressed that the child is not sleeping well and communicate this anxiety to the child which forms a vicious cycle, so relax and let bedtime be a pleasant experience then a  task which needs to be completed, tell her good relaxing stories or let her read good books prior to sleeping. As she gains confidence with sleeping alone, she will venture to sleep without you.

Hope this helped and do keep us posted.
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Avatar universal
When i was younger I was able to sleep away from home loved sleeping over friends houses. When i turned about 12 I just stopped sleeping out and like your daughter would call my mom crying to come pick me up and she would. I stopped doing this at 18! And still sometimes do it now, im 20 now. I went down the shore last summer and my mom had to drive all the way down the shore to get me. I have still not found out what my problem was. My mom thinks (this is strange to me) I am really close with my dad so being away from him bothers me sometimes. I come from a family where my parents argued a lot but i didnt pay any attention to it. other then that my family thinks its because i am VERY comfortable at home and there are many times when im not at my own house i do not feel comfortable being anywhere else also certain friends homes like how my parents argued if i knew something was not "right" in there house i did not want to be there. So i do not think your daughter has a "problem" just home is where she is the most comfortable. I really don't think there is much you can do to make her change except give her some time. I know as a mom you feel upset because she is missing out on things cause that's how my mom said she felt to. For me i never felt like i was missing out on anything because how i looked at it was sure my friends are all down the shore or at a sleep over having fun but i knew if i would have went i would not have enjoyed my time there anyway and i would just want to come home.
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