When I had trouble with nightmares, none remembered in the detail you provided, I started practicing a physical wake-up, that is when awake and in any situation that looks suspicious I opened my eyes wide. This practice resulted in my doing the same when asleep and I woke up, this ended up in the nightmares stopping in the main. I may have a simple nightmare or scare a couple times a year.. and I am now an old man, that in itself can be scary.
Your dreaming sounds like Lucid dreaming, see the work on the subject on the web. It offers ideas and practices on how to take control of dreaming when you in fact know you are dreaming.. including how to test if you are asleep. The methodology also adds value to awake times as it trains the mind to see in more detail... high detail is the first general sign one is awake... good luck, no one should have to go through what you describe.