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Can anyone please share their experience of selective mutism

My son is 3 and a half. He has been going to the same playgroup for 18 months and they have recently asked for him to be assessed by the early years senco. They have asked this because he is not sociable, he never really plays with other children and needs to be directed all the time, they also say that he doesnt like change. However my biggest concern is that he never talks when he is there. Maybe the odd one or two words a week to an adult if they are alone but never ever to children. He wont ask for anything, to go to the toilet and wont tell if he is hurt or upset. He can talk absolutely fine at home, never stops lol
If an adult or family come to our house then after a while he will tend to speak a little not as much as most other little boys his age but a little. It seems to only be when he is around other children. He looks so scared and physically flinches if a child gets too close even at the park.

I know that when he is assessed they will be looking for signs of autism. I have wondered about it too as he does show many traits. My daughter was diagnosed at 7 with high functioning autism and my other son at 5 with autistic spectrum disorder but definately fits description of aspergers better. So i do understand about autism but have never experienced anything like this. People thought u was exagerating til they have seen the difference in him there, it is like he completely changes personality from a happy, smiley, confident boy into a nervous wreck! From what i have read this all fits selective mutism and i am wondering if that is what is stopping him from speaking. If it may be that who would diagnose it?

Sorry so long!
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