maybe, because sometimes the truth hurts.
This is a good question which many are asking themselves and others.
I like what iam1butterfly wrote....because sometimes the truth hurts. That leads into the things we would rather not face. To face them means changing our reality. Sometimes people feel they have no choice but to go along with those around them.
Sometimes people won't even consider that they might be lying.
Sometimes people think they are doing the right thing by lying because they are protecting someone or themselves. Some don't even see it as wrong.
There are many reasons for the "why"....generalized. But again ....comes back to being able to see the truth and what that would mean.
Oh....terribly difficult, this one, I have lied. Stuck between lying/not lying, and didn't know what was best. A lady who drives me crazy wanted me to go shopping for her every single week. I did that for 8 years. She would not let me go, and although there were others who would go shopping for her, she wanted me. It was going dark early in the afternoon, and she was talking and talking.....I told her I had to get back to walk my dog (who had been shut in the house for hours alone by now) She didn't listen, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I couldn't say "I just don't want to do this anymore" The whole thing was stressing me
So I called her and told her I had moved away for a while and am staying at my brother's. Now another friend does her shopping, so I hear.
I know I shouldn't have lied, but it was the only way I could think of -out of the situation.
Good example, Ginger, on how a "white" lie seemed harmless. Situational ethics opened up a whole view of how rationalizing in circumstances, etc. leads us to conclude that there are times when it is ok to do something that would otherwise be seen as wrong.
Someone bursts in and demands to know where if/where your child is.....are you going to tell him/her?
So...why do people lie...encompasses a lot of reasons/territory.
Yes, sometimes there isn't a distinct line between being truthful, or being harsh. For instance, someone buys you a present, and it's the LAST thing you want, or need. What do you say? What do you HAVE to say?
"Thank you, that's sweet of you."
(You really cannot say "It's horrid, and I'm selling it on ebay asap!"
Exactly Ginger.....it takes creativity to find your way around such situations....but 1/2 truths, etc. creep in without one intending them too. Maybe we should start over with what the definition of "lie" is....lol!
Thanks for all helpful comments, you are right but there are other ways to look at it without owing someone and staying in a safe side, for example the one who give us a present shows his kindness for us regardless of weather we like the present or not we should thank him for his kindness and care not the quality and the value of his gift. Let me give you short story on how to tay in a safe side : some criminals were chasing an innocent guy to kill him because he was the witness of their crime, he passed by a guy siting beside the road and begged him please don't tell chasers that I went this way, the guy said ok and changed the spot he was siting before. When the criminals reached there asked his if he saw anybody passing by and he replied " since Ihave been siting here nobody passed by " He saved yhe man's life and he didn't lie "
I know it is hard sometimes not to lie but we may practice being truthful most of the time.
I think I made my point
Rahim :-)) I had thought of something similar in how we do it when we lie in such situations....you gave an excellent example of it. The intent is valid as to why it is being done and for whom.
Coming from a Christian background, this is one that I wrestled with because of the many interpretations what "lying" means and the "why". It is easy to take a verse like ...Proverbs 12:17 and the part that says....God hates liars. "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him ... a lying tongue ... a false witness that speaketh lies" (6:16-19). Therefore, good and honest men reject liars! David said, "He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight" (Ps 101:7).
Yet, what man is without having lied in some capacity. Abraham hid the fact his 1/2 sister was his wife when he traveled into another man's land where the King desired Abraham's wife, Sarah. He did it 2 times. The first was in Genesis 12:10-13 and during the 2nd time, in Genesis 20 (3-7) God threatens judgment upon Abimelech for taking Sarah.
But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, “Indeed you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is a man’s wife.” But Abimelech had not come near her; and he said, “Lord, will You slay a righteous nation also? Did he not say to me, ‘She is my sister’? And she, even she herself said, ‘He is my brother.’ In the integrity of my heart and innocence of my hands I have done this.” And God said to him in a dream, “Yes, I know that you did this in the integrity of your heart. For I also withheld you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her. Now therefore, restore the man’s wife; for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you shall live. But if you do not restore her, know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours.”
This is open to interpretation as to why a man of God such as Abraham would do this, not just once but twice....... Do some lies work better than others?
In the first instance, we are told the following:
Abram in Egypt
10 Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. 11 As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, "I know what a beautiful woman you are. 12 When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you." (NIV)
What is interesting here are the ways this has been interpreted along with Isaac/Rebekah doing the same thing......both were rewarded by getting to keep things like animals and plants (seeds).......so this would tell me that some forms of lying were not condemned like others. Also, I realize that this was before the part mentioned above that says that God hates liars Psalm 5: (4) so some have said that Abraham is excused because Moses hadn't given the laws and God hadn't given anyone, the verses that came later that clearly stated.....
"There are six things the LORD hates – no, seven things He detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord among brothers." (Proverbs 6:16-19)
"You must not bear false witness against thy neighbor." (Exodus 20:16)
So back to your original question...why we lie? Abraham lied in one instance because he was afraid for his life. Some lie to gain things, deceitfully. Some lie to get others in trouble to eliminate them for some reason.......the list is long........
I think in current times we call it being politically correct. Fear causes us to lie. Fear of rejection, being rude, being wrong, etc. No one says what they mean anymore about anything. For fear, period.
Let's look at the different angles :-)))
It is a different perspective. If "why", then "why not"?
A comment made above by iambutterfly was interesting - sometimes the truth hurts. So .... what is truth? My truth? Your truth? The truth?
I also read that an infamous person in history (he had a mustache and slaughtered millions) advised that if you're going to tell a lie, tell a big one. No offence intended to anyone - it was just a historical note.
I only ever told little lies......it just didn't seem quite right to tell big ones. Once I told someone I was A Hungarian Countess.....and THEY BELIEVED ME! But I couldn't keep my face straight so that one didn't work LOL!
I would say sometimes an inner feeling of rejection, self loathing, isolation from society or aspects of ourselves we are unable to come to terms with. The worst tactic we can use is to project the blame on others. I can't say I myself haven't had these feelings overwhelm me. Sometimes guided meditation can help. Sometimes its a matter of rethinking priorities. At all times its a matter of thinking over what you will say and do before you take action. Sometimes telling the other person the truth hurts but if you say it in a supportive and non confrontational manner sometimes that's the most important thing they need to hear. The worst form of lying is lying to yourself about who you are, what is wrong and what steps you have to take to overcome it.
I am totally agree with you, and I add that sometimes we may have to lean to appreciate hurting truth than sweetness of false .
I lie at times because it is fun...it makes people smile.
That is may be the only good aspect of lie, if they knew it was lie.