So, I'm going to try and make this as short and sweet as possible. I am a 26 year old female dating a man who is 32. He has two young sons ages 4 and 6. We are expecting our first child together in about 8 days. We are not yet married, but marriage is definitely the next step for us within the coming year or so. We met last March 2012, things pretty much just happened quickly. I love him and I do love the boys. Their mother is not in the picture at all, in fact, my boyfriend has full custody of his two children. We also, don't live together yet.
My question is, WHAT SHOULD MY ROLE BE? I am there for the children, I do help provide for the boys as much as my pockets allow, I do have to consider raising our daughter and expenses for her as well, I'm pretty much the only "Mother-figure" the kids know. They do know who their mother is though.
He expects me to be "their mother"... He wants me to be "in the kids life" like 100% and 24/7. He's a truck driver, so he's not home right now Monday thru Friday (praying for a local job soon, it's a new career). Anyway, he wants me to act as the "Step Mom"....
My belief is once two people get married, that when to "Step-Parenting" comes in. Not before. He believes that once you're in a relationship with someone who has children, the children become "like" yours as well.
I don't want to feel obligated into being the mother of not only our daughter, but 2 kids who technically aren't mine, YET!!! At the same time, I don't want to feel stand-offish to his children or make him feel like I don't accept them as much as our daughter.
Any advice will help.... Any takers??? Lol!!!