Avatar universal

Getting my child to connect with step parent

I have a 6 year old son and a boyfriend that I have been with for 5 years. Although I that the early bond should of been created earlier in my sons life by his step father, it was never accomplished because he didn't want my son to call him dad. I believe that sets the tone in his mind to stay clear from parental attachments. However, 5 years later and we have a child we conceived together Its always this pressure on me from him to understand why my son has no relationship with him. Anything my son talks about he does it with me and anywhere he goes he only wants to be with me. Now I encourage my boyfriend to take him places but that only happens if I suggest it. My boyfriend feels hurt at the fact my son doesn't have a relationship with him since he takes care of him. My issue would be the ability to develop a relationship with my son would be easier if he spent more one on one time with him doing fun things. My boyfriend tries to correct my son a lot and that about all there is to there relationship. I want everybody to be a family in my home, but how is this possible.    
3 Responses
535822 tn?1443976780
It sounds as if your BF has to make more of an effort to get to know him better , you say he feels hurt but if he doesnt make an effort how can either of you expect a 6 year old to do so...It is up to the adults , you and the BF.. to do the devoleping of the relation ship , your son is the child here not the BF ....
757137 tn?1347196453
Maybe they just don't like each other. That even happens with natural parents.
Avatar universal
I partly agree with both the above posters.I am a girlfriend and my boyfriend has a 12 year old son.I have taken his son out for bike rides, taken him to outdoor fairs etc.Some of this was choice, some of it was because his Dad works almost constantly. But I know me and SS need to do those things alone sometimes.We have a good relationship in that SS rells me his troubles and I feel I partly help and I am glad.
I also still get annoyed and wonder sometimes how close me and SS are. I am actually quite relieved when we have a weekend where we don't have SS (we in theory have him every weekend but it is me who is left alone with him and has rarely been asked if this is OK).
If this helps at all I hope so.
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