Absolutely petrified and anxious over mass in upper abdomen

[Careful35]

I wish I didn't feel like this and my anxiety is starting to get the best of me. I can't sleep, I can't eat and all day long my stomach is in knots. I just want to say that I do have anxiety and also health anxiety. I know it, I admit it and its been a struggle for years though for the last several years I have had things under control. I developed health anxiety after being mis diagnosed for a whole year. Many drs kept telling me that all the problems I was having with my heart was anxiety but it wasn't. I was eventually diagnosed with 3 different heart arrhythmias. Health anxiety is rough! After that I had every disease there was and would push for testing not realizing that all those tests could harm me. I realized eventually things needed to change and I worked really hard to get where I am today butttt my anxiety has come back in a big way after I found a mass in my upper abdomen below my ribs almost 2 months ago.

About 3 months ago I started to get really short of breath doing simple chores. I called for a dr appt but because my insurance assigned me to a new primary dr when I called they had no spots open for new patients until May 1st which was almost 3 months away. A little over a month later while in the shower washing my ribs area felt different to me. I put it to the back of my mind to bring up at my dr appt. On April 17th while i was drying off after my shower I felt like something moved inside my body while I was drying off in that area under my ribs. I laid down on my bed to better feel it. I could feel something in there and when I push it from the side it feels like it moves, not under my skin but I can feel it move inside my body. Could it be that when I push on it, it pushes into something near by and so just feels like it moves? I suppose that could be the case but it definitely feels like it moves when pushed and there is definitely something in there that's not suppose to be. I may have anxiety but im not crazy and am not imagining it, my primary care dr felt it as well. So anyways when I felt that I got freaked out and went to the ER. I was in and out in less then 20 mins. The ER dr came in felt around and said your okay its just a lipoma, no worries but she really didn't feel the area I told her I felt it and she did no further testing but because I have anxiety and I don't want to get worked up I said to myself, she is a dr and you are not so she must be right, I will bring it up at my dr appt.

As the days passed by I noticed that when I made different movements or sat or laid on certain postions I could feel the thing in there (without touching it with my hand). It doesn't hurt just feels akward and uncomfortable but again because I have anxiety and I don't want to ove react I tell myself you only notice it because in the back of your mind your worried about it. I try my best not to touch it, not even touch the area its in because I don't like the way it feels when it feels like its moving but the couple times that I have, I notice its gotten bigger. Its actually pretty big. So May 1st comes I go to my dr, he says he feels nothing where the ER dr said she felt that lipoma but he does feel something in the same place I feel it in. He orders a chest x ray, x rays of my ribs, ct scan of my abdomen and blood work. I had everything done except the ct scan because they cancelled my appt the day before saying my insurance didnt approve it yet. I did call about the x ray results and were told they were normal. When I called yesterday for an update about the approval for the ct scan I was told they still hadn't heard anything. Later that night my uncle wanted to see what I was talking about and when I let him feel it I realized it had gotten bigger still so I went to the ER and asked them to do the ct scan and they agreed. The dr comes in and says ct scan is normal. Im confused because I know I feel it. He sends the nurse to give me my discharge papers and the disc with the scan on it and I notice they did a ct scan of my chest not my abdomen like my dr wanted! Basically I just got a bunch of radation for no reason  I called the drs office first thing this morning about the authorization and they still didn't have it so I went to the imaging place and paid $259 to have the correct scan done. When the tech walked me out she said your dr will have the results by Monday and then she said "I hope it all works out"! This made me think she saw something really bad on the scan. I know the techs aren't supposed to tell you anything about your scans so I didnt ask but I also know they look at them and know what they are looking at so I feel like she must have seen something bad to say that to me, maybe I am just over thinking it but I cant help but feel that way cause people dont normally say "they hope things work out" unless they know what needs to be worked out. She also seemed really suprised that a month and a half maybe a little longer had passed and I was just now getting a test to see which bothers me as well and is why I went ahead and paid full price for it. I think its ridiculous that I had to wait soooo long to see the dr. I called every single morning after I found this thing for a sooner appt and was told everyday that there was nothing sooner. I don't know when my dr will have the results and as bad as I want them im scared to death of what they might be. Can anyone relate? Im really sorry about this super long post. I just feel like I needed to get it out and I am hoping to connect with someone or someones who have been through the same.... I just turned 35 btw in February

[tara1414]

I can relate to the health anxiety. Im having a barium swallow tomorrow. after feeling lump in throat while swallowing. Scared out of my mind. I didnt read your entire post. But if she said I hope everything works out" That does not mean anything...I hate that they cant tell you anything. I dont even ask anymore.