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Avatar universal

Fear of loved ones dying

Hi all,
I'm new here but i thought id give this a try and see if anyone has any suggestions. I am 26 years old and as long as i can remember i have always STRESSED out about my familys well being. I know i can't control what happens but i see that now as i am getting older i stress about my family and loved ones dying on a daily basis. I know it might sound weird but you have no idea how bad this can get unless you go through what i go through everyday. It's getting to a point that i have panic attacks here n there. I am extremely close to my mother, father and sister and just the thought of them not being here scares me. I know this is a serious problem becuase i can't let go of it and i have tried over the years but the thought runs through my mind constantly. I was on anti depressants for a few months a couple years ago but decided to stop taking them. Does anyone have any suggestions? I want to enjoy the days i have with them right now and i dont want to waste time thinking of things that may or may not happen soon but i just can't stop on my own.
79 Responses
Avatar universal
I can't really help, i'm 18 and going through a similar thing at the moment, it hasn't been going on for too long only about 2-3 weeks but every night when im trying to sleep or when I wake up i'm worrying about what may happen and how fast the time is going to go with my mother as I am incredibly close to her and so worried about her being gone as I think i'd probably end up having a nervous breakdown

I spoke to my mother about it last night and she did a good job of reassuring me and managing to get me a bit happier but today I am depressed about it all again and like you I just want to make the most of the time we have together but I can't help feeling as though i'm ruining it or not enjoying it fully because of the thoughts in the back of my mind

I know this probably will not help you but if you wanted to talk to someone going through something similar please feel free to email me on kayleigh.***@**** as perhaps we would both benefit from talking to someone who is going through something similar, if you do not wish too then I really do hope you manage to stop worrying yourself
I go through the same thing all the time. Actually as I'm typing this I'm thinking about it and crying. I told my mum and dad about my thoughts. It helped a bit and made me realise i should just have as much fun with them as possible. This may not help but just know you"re not the only one with theses thoughts. :)
Avatar universal
I have the same problem. I believe it's because I am clinically bi polar, but a lot of the time it keeps me from enjoying my day... and I just want to cry. And the worst thing about it is that there's nothing you can do to keep them forever. Death is inevitable... I know that, but it's hard to imagine my life without certain people which I worry about dying almost daily. I try to stay positive though. I wish I could be more of help, I feel the best way to cope with it is to talk about it with a therapist or someone you feel comfortable with doing so, or write it out. I know it's unhealthy to keep this kind of stuff bottled up.
Best of luck!
Avatar universal
I'm only 16 and I have these thoughts. There usualy when a family member goes out in the car. There are only 4 of us in our whole family. Me mum dad and brother. I have no grandparents or other close relitives so I have felt loss. I feel as though someone is goin to be taken every couple of years and I will be left alone. When I am with my family I don't worry about them being harmed, it is only when I can't see or hear them that I begin to worry
Avatar universal
I'm only 16 and I have these thoughts. There usualy when a family member goes out in the car. There are only 4 of us in our whole family. Me mum dad and brother. I have no grandparents or other close relitives so I have felt loss. I feel as though someone is goin to be taken every couple of years and I will be left alone. When I am with my family I don't worry about them being harmed, it is only when I can't see or hear them that I begin to worry
Avatar universal
Yes of all the biggest fears losing ones we love has to be the biggest out there. I know most all of my friends have either lost one or both of their parents and I just cant myself imagine what that day can even be like and I dont even know how I will deal with the greif but yes it is going to happen. All that gives me hope is Christ and the words in the Bible..but I know the grief will be too much to bear. I understand what you are thinking and the dread though.
Avatar universal
this happens to me as well. i am engaged and when my fiance doesnt text me back or answer a phone call it will cross my mind that he might have been in a car accident. and no matter how hard i try to focus on something else i will find myself waiting by the phone thinking someone from a hospital will call to tell me he is dead. its terribly crippling and he thinks i am just worrying to much but it feels to me like something deeper. does anyone know if this has a clinical name? i was also diagnosed as bipolar once, but noone believes that i am (including myself) i dont show signs of it.
Avatar universal
finally i found someone like me ...am really stressed bcuz of that issue ... i cry to sleep everynight and i even dream about it , and whenever any of my loved ones accidently talking about death it gets even worse for me ...please if anyone got help in that issue before tell me , i am in desperate need for help !!!
Avatar universal
i guess it's called necrophobia
Avatar universal
Would any of you view yourselves as Visual thinkers? I am a visual thinker and sometimes imagine the worst. I noticed that when I'm mentally occupied the thoughts of losing loved ones does not cross my mind. When I say mentally occupied, I'm talking, watching a movie, problem solving, reading...I'm 35 years old and remember having thoughts of losing loved ones at the age of 6. I would wake up crying at the thought of my Mom or Dad dying. I have gone through bouts of depression and would consider myself a very emotional person. Now when these thoughts do cross my mind I immediately try to focus on something else.
1247613 tn?1268789291
My issue is kind of similar but way different.  I don't have a phobia of this... just a basic understanding and numbness of feelings.  I lost my sister when I was 16, we shared a room together up until the day she died, and when she died, then went her god daughter who was named after her only 2 months old, then my uncle, then my cousin, then 2 of my friends then my grandmother... and the list goes on... it seems that people just started to drop dead after her... I've become used to it.  I'm not afraid my loved ones will die... I expect them to.  

I've distanced myself from everyone I love it seems.  Some of my family members and friends are not to happy that I moved to Japan, and now I find it hard to let myself get truly close to anyone here as well.  Everyone knows everything about me because I don't feel secrets are necessary.  I don't care what anyone thinks.  I have a friend of mine, she is my roommate.  I love her, maybe more than a friend, but I didn't even think about her death until she asked me "if I died, what would you do?"

I don't know...

I suppose I would just live on...

What else can I do?
Avatar universal
I am... rather WAS scared of loved ones dying, too. I'm 13 and it was TERRIBLE. Sometimes I just felt like crying, or running and hiding. I felt dizzy just thinking of it, and the thought haunted me throughout the days.

I am very close to my mother and father... and the thought of them one day being gone was AWFUL. They didn't have me old, nor especially young, and I'd worry. Will they see me get married? Will they meet my children? I thought the world would be all gray and sad when they were gone. I thought I'd never be able to live life without them. At times I would think, how old will they be when I am __ years old. On other occasions I felt things would be best if I passed before them. Being an only child could only make things harder, and I had no religion to turn to.

Instead I turned to my parents. And they gave me the greatest advice I could have asked for. First of all, the reassured me that they were not going away anytime soon. They told me that they were healthy people; they don't smoke, they eat well, and are fairly cautious folks. Secondly, (having lost their parents) they told me that it felt strangely like they were still there. My mother, who is not a religious person, nor phony told me that she (whom had been very close to her dad) felt like he was still with her... she said she felt sometimes that I was him (having died before I was born). When my mother was a child she had the same fears, and after her dad died, yes, it was the hardest thing she had ever endured, but not nearly as hard as she had expected. She felt his presence everywhere. She felt as if he were with her at all times.

My dad told me something similar. He said that when his grandpa died (whom he was very close to), his grandpa visited him in his dreams and he, too felt his presence everywhere.

He also told me a fascinating story. When he was in his 20's his aunt was dying. He and the whole family visited her. It was very hard for everyone... but something lessened the pain. It was none other that a child-- a 4 year old child. She was (I believe) my father's Aunt's great niece. It felt, not like his Aunt's departure; instead it felt like the passing of a baton.

Your loved ones love you, too. Therefor, regardless of religion, I feel they will be with you forever. Don't worry.

I told them next of my fear of being an only child. "Don't worry!" My Mother said, "After all, I am not blood related to your father, but we are most certainly family!" My mom also told me of her step father, and how close she was to him. He was just like a father to her-- 100%, and they weren't at all related through blood.

So, thinking this, I was all very content... but even more soothed my fears.

Many people have reported entering heaven, where their loved ones were. Many more have claimed they were reincarnated. My mother, myself, says that after her father died she was watching the stars, and he was there. I know people who say their loved ones appeared in the room as they died. Nobody knows whether or not these claims have any substance. But I feel they do. I feel there has to be more. I feel that death is just a small stepping stone in the circle of life.

Good luck, hope I helped. Don't worry.
Avatar universal
I'm 18. And I have the same issue too. When I'm just sitting by myself or trying to fall asleep at night, I imagine my brothers, mom and dads faces smiling. Thinking what would happen if I wouldn't be able to see those faces again. Sometimes I even imagine them being dead already on their death bed. It makes me sad and I cry whenever nobody is at home or whenever it crosses my mind. It hurts and my chest begins to tighten. I seriously need help because to me, suicide sometimes seems to be an option.. I'm not trying to be negative, but this is how much this thought gets to me. Ill rather die first then have them die before me..
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way off the beaten track!, BC
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