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1764174 tn?1313462480


My husband has had a second stroke this year (March & July). He has depression and I feel like I am going crazy! He is like Jekyll & Hyde. He says no one cares, or helps.....My god I have been here everyday 24/7 I do everything but it seems not to be enough. I sit and cry and wonder why. The doctor has put me on blood pressure medication and Klonopin because I am feeling so much anxiety with my bp around 190/126 and the lowest is 135/101. It's causing me to feel anxious and hot headed. I don't know if I am coming or going.....is this type of behavior normal? He goes to PT/OT and acts if everything is normal, but gets into the car and starts complaining. Has gone to the extreme of contacting another woman stating he needs someone to talk to because no one understands. I had a stroke myself 5 years ago and I didn't act this way, I know every person is different but how much am I supposed to take. I almost feel like I need a permanent break as bad as that sounds. I don't know what to think or do....advice????  
6 Responses
1764145 tn?1315979228
If his actions haven't turned around since his last stroke in July and no improvements in behavior has changed then something is wrong as far as his mentality goes and the way he thinks, like you said you've been there since day one, but he seems to be blind by the fact that your doing so much for him, it's not right that he associates with another female because no one understands in his world, maybe he's suffering from mild depression, it might not be from the stroke, you shouldn't have to depend on medicine to get you through this, he's causing your stress and BP to go up, have you considered talking to anyone to cope with this issue? Klonopins will make you feel off balance and out of tune with yourself for sure, I wish you luck and hope things get better.
1764174 tn?1313462480
I am joining a care group through our local nursing school here. I am just over all this stress and heartache. So conflicted as to what to do. Thanks for your insight. So far the medication for anxiety isn't helping me I don't feel any relief...SIGH
1764145 tn?1315979228
I'm glad that your able to do that for yourself, strive for the best and prepare for the worst, hopefully your care group is successfully working out for you, if it's been more then 2 weeks and the anxiety medicine isn't working, give your doctor a call and see what your options are some anxiety medications make your anxiety worse, that's what happened with me when I was taking zoloft, I wish you all the best!
Avatar universal
I suggest that you could use massage to treat depression.
People are depressed for a variety of reasons. Often, depression has to do with a situation, such as losing a job or experiencing a trauma in ones life. In these cases, a massage therapist can use techniques to help this person overcome this overwhelming feeling of sadness. Techniques include working with the abdominal muscles as well as those in the head and neck to help straighten out a person who is suffering from this form of depression. Many people with this disease find that their body structure is actually collapsed due to the depression. It begins with the abdominal muscles, where the organs that store the cells that fight for the immune system are stored beneath. Because the body is in such a collapsed state, a depressed person runs the risk of acquiring illness or disease as their immune system is not working properly.

By restoring the body to the full state prior to collapse, a massage therapist can assist a person with depression to keep their body healthy. It can return the human structure back to prior the collapse. In addition to working with the abdominal muscles and head and neck muscles, the massage therapist will also incorporate working on the arms and shoulders of a depressed person.
Hope that i help.
Avatar universal
I was so sorry to hear about your situation which would drive anyone into a bad state.  It sounds like your husband needs to be put on a strong dose of anti-depressants.  Perhaps you could suggest it to his doctor for them to push it.

And what about you taking some anti-depressants?  Anyone in your situation would probably need them.  I was severely depressed 2 and half years after my stroke due to my constant head pain which was often ER severe and my total lack of any quality in my life.  I told the doctor that increasing my anti-depressant couldn't possibly help me because it was all situational.  The doctor was afraid that I might commit suicide since a certain percentage of chronic pain sufferers DO commit suicide.  I still have the same crummy life, but the anti-depressants did take away my depression!!!

Another idea if that perhaps you could try couples therapy so that your husband can maybe see his irrationality.

Or maybe counseling can help you.  Although the group that you are attending may help you.

I see above that someone criticized your Klonopin.  I've needed to take this medication every night since I had my stroke due to a seizure condition called myoclonus.  But it has changed my intermittent anxiety before my stroke as well.  It is addictive, but that's the deal.  If your anxiety is not getting better you may in fact need some other medication.

I really feel for you and best of luck on things improving.
Avatar universal
Hi there, I understand how bad it must be, pushing you to the edge without a trace of appreciation. Apart from anti hypertensives and clonazepam which are rightly indicated in your condition, you need to join a support group to vent and formulate a regular exercise plan. You need to look after your own health well to assist your depressed husband which is quite justified and happens in post stroke patients. Salt restriction, low fat foods, regular exercises, deep breathing exercises, de-stress therapies all will help along with a god support network of friends. Communicate with your partner, how you need some acknowledgement and that your own health is on stake. Hope this helps. Take care.

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